Pissed.

Must you be so unreasonable?? Can't you accept the possibility that you were the one that heard wrongly and not insist that i was the one who mis-passed the message?? Why must you be so particular over such issues?? I stayed up until 4a.m last night to solve your problem, and today you come and give me this type of nonsense? You want to say other people's problems are nonsense right? Why not you think if the way you pursue trivial matters is actually nonsense itself!

You claim i told you this morning that my voice class tomorrow is 10.30a.m, then you used that timing to arrange 4 other important appointments. So just by claiming that its important appointments then you can say you definitely heard it right?!? Come on lah, please just accept the fact that no one person can be 100% right all the time. Put aside your ego damn it, stop being so paranoid. Its not that i want to shout at you but have you thought of how frustrating it is to have to put up with your worthless rambling?? And when the problem is settled?? You start rambling away again. Look, enough of all this 'nonsense' okay? If you insist on being like this, and claiming that i'm not filial to you, then i will be firm with my own decision and make up my mind to never talk to you properly ever again. Don't bother threatening me with 'nonsense' like not fetching Abi, not fetching me to voice class, not fetching me wherever whatever however, look i doubt i give a damn.

And if you want to accuse yourself of being a bitch and everything, then let me tell you something ; I NEVER SAID YOU WERE. okay?!? I never accused you to be ANYTHING. I never accused you of doing anything before okay?!!? If you look back, all i was trying to tell you is that you're not looking at the possibilities. Whatever lah huh? Perhaps i wasted my time last night trying to help you. All i got was NOTHING.

If you bother thinking about last night, when you and my sis were busy shouting your ass-s off and playing petty antics on each other, me and my brother were busy scrambling all over the house and discussing about solutions to help settle the problem. It was my brother that got the Cops to go away. It was me who talked to my sis to get her to come in. It was the both of us who settled the shit. Okay?? If not the problem could have dragged on until 7a.m the next day un-handled.

And stop thinking that you are always trying to please people and getting nothing in return. Its not like we never tried to do the same to you okay? Did you drink the cup of water i prepared for you last night? No, no you didn't. Did that hurt? Yes it did. Did you look back and give any response when i said " I love you " to you? No you didn't either. Fun right? Ya, maybe to you it is uh?

HAPPYYY!!! :D But i miss youu.....

Halo Halooooo :D:D:D

HAHA!!! Okay no Beyonce or whatever now!! :P Yup so, today was GREAT :D Yes, 500% awesome-ness :D:D Woke up at a timing that was comfortable for my body ( after missing so many nights of sleep ): ). :D I was happy right from when i woke up, because there was something to look forward to today!! :D MEETING BABYYY!!! :D:D:D

Hahas, yup so i replied the texts she spammed me with ( :P ) since she woke up and went to school ( For O'level chinese paper ) :D Then i immediately starting gaming on my PSP :D:D HAHA!! I'm kinda addicted to the new game i have leh !!! ( shizzz .___. ) But nvm, i WILL study :D:D Waiting for my Bro Andrew to return me my homework -.-

Yea so, me and my mum went to pick Baby up from school and we changed up for our appointment :D:D We had LOADS of fun okayyy!!! :D And i don't know why but i find this post so lameeee -.- -.- -.-!!!! Yup, so i think i shan't blabber on anymoreee :D

Baby just went off for church so i will be waiting for her call when shes back, :D:D Can't wait!!! :D LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHH MY SWEETIE DARLINGGG!!!! :D:D:D Yup if not, my post ends here :D Toodles!! :D

Byeeeee :D

Our 10th week shot off well baby :D I LOVE YOU!!! :D <3 baby i don't know why but i find this post so inclined to you, i think i just miss you too much so my brain is crammed up with you!! :D LOVE YOU AGAIN!! :D 

Addition :D

HELLO! :D

Things just turned around :D HAHA! :P Baby just called me and told me that we HAVE time tomorrow :D:D YUPYUP FINALLYYYYY :D:D We'll get to see each other hahahaha ;D:D I can't wait now okayy!!! Shall be there to fetch her from school at 12.40 :D
Yup so, I CAN'T WAIT OMG :D:D HAHAHA :D:D I just hope we have enough time to do what we want to do :P LOLOLOLOL. :P
If not, i doubt i'm posting anymore!!! :D

Goodbye and Goodnight ;D

I LOVE YOU THANK YOU!!!! :D:D:D <3 

So does it or does it not?

Hey (:

Yea so, i'm back. Will be posting in a different format altogether now. My paragraphing wise. Just to test out. Don't mind the reading difficulties (: Right, today sucked. Right from the start.....

Woke up, to a terrible headache. Really bad. My entire head was literally throbbing and shaking even as i stay still, I couldn't walk properly, couldn't see properly. So i bathed like this, and went downstairs having a premonition that i would fall down the stairs and go tumbling like a ball. But i didn't, so perhaps thats one of the good things that happened today? ( i'm desperate for any ) Then i waited for my lunch to come back, and i decided to only attend half of TVC practice due to my awesome condition. I took a nap while waiting, and apparently the headache deteriorated further after i woke up. Awesome right? Then i ate ( obviously without any appetite) and i went back to sleep again to wait till 1 before leaving the house. As usual, i woke up and the headache worsened further. Thats when i decided to skip TVC practice entirely. I texted my senior in TVC and then i went up to have a good rest. What made it worst? Baby took Janelle's phone to text me and she told me we might not have time tomorrow. Then in my brain it was like ' FUCK IT. ' Yea and my headache miraculously 'cooperated' and got 'much better'. So i HAD to rest whether or not i wanted to, got up from the Sofa and went up to my Bed.

I slept for super long, woke up and had a call with Baby. My headache was much better by then and the phone call made me feel much better too. (: Yup, but i'm still feeling bored and a little sad. I still have the mindset that my life sucks and i hope i actually get something to make me feel happy about my life.

If not, here ends my post for today.

Bye.

I love you, but reality doesn't allow it. and i'm sorry i have to be pessimistic about it, but its a natural reaction and i cannot help but feel denied. I'm really sorry. Love you again baby. <3

Monday's comingggg :D

HELLO :D

Finally got back my spectacles so i can post :D:D HAHA!! The stupid screw came off okay so irritating luh!! ): Yup but i got it repaired... :D Kay so, on to the day's events.
Had TKchoir practice from 10-12. (: It was kinda fun as we had sectionals and it was quite fruitful :D I find my sec1 juniors so mute OMG. Like i ask them something and all they give me is ( O_O ) ...... LIKE WTF. Then i have to like repeat my question with a ultra-super-duper-uber spastic face to get them to give me an answer or perhaps a decent response.... Yup so, after that i went to take lunch with my Dad and Mum (: AND I WAS FREAKING FULL AFTER THAT :P Whatsmore, i had to rush over to Siglap South CC for Vocal Consort practice despite my fatigue, it was a BAD mistake to sleep late LOL. Yea so TVC practice ended at 4+ and i reached home at around 5+? Yeap. Actually quarreled with Baby a little but we settled it :D And i can't wait for MONDAY NOW OKAY!!! :D:D:D:D
Hope Baby is fine and isn't annoyed at her mum anymore LOL. I miss her sooo much luhhh damn it damn it damn it ): ): ): ): Reallyyyy hope i can see her on Monday as planneedddd. Yupyup!! :D If not, i think i'll end my post here....My mum is crying after a quarrel with Dad...damn i hate to see her like this :/

Bye.

I LOVE YOU BABY!!! :D FOREVER :D:D <3 MUACKS MUACKS MUACKS!!! :D

Tired...BUT HAPPY:D

Halo!! :D

Hahahas, just wanted to post because i'm super super bored ): ): Yup but i'm still happy ALTHOUGH wistful and worried :P Yup, an assortment of emotions and thoughts churned up in my brain :P Hahas, yea....
Just came back from an outing with my Family.....My intention was to source for some PSP FPS games, Story books, handphone Earpiece and handphone pouch.... Too bad i only managed to get 1 of the 4....Story books. HAHA, but they were kinda worth it so i guess i'll take my time to read it over the Hols :D Gives me something to do now anyways :) But i was actually hoping to get the PSP games too, apparently the shops didn't provide download services so i couldn't get the games since my PSP only works with downloaded games. *whisper* Its modified!! *whisper* :P Yup so..... I couldn't find handphone stuff either as the handphone shops were closed, so the outing was actually NOT fruitful...but it was kinda fun :D Yup, managed to re-bond with my sister after a quarrel we had. :)
Thats the good part :D Sad part is, I MISS BABY SO MUCH!!! ): ): And i'm worried about her since she sounded really tired on the phone just now but i guess i will be fine (: And OMG i can't wait for Monday cause i will be able to see her then :D:D Yup so, here ends the last post for today :D

GOODBYE! :D

May love take us away to our land of joy :D

Your smiles again (:

Hello (:

Yea i know, past few posts have been really draggy and depressing and all. I was having problems consecutively and i really didn't know what to do. But in anycase its all over! :D I really hope Baby is okay, i tried to cheer her up a little before we hung up. But if not, i might not be able to see or talk to her all the way until tomorrow evening damn it... :/ Never mind i shall stay happy for her :D
Yup so, i finished my E math homework and there is still plenty more to go... .____. Seriously, holidays ain't like holidays at all...just wish Monday can come faster!! :D
And to you Baby, i'm sorry for everything. Yea i know you would probably think its all your fault but you yourself told me that cannot be possible right? :D So yes, let me take some of the blame :D I'm really sorry okay? For being like this for such a long period of time, i hope you will really cheer up soon. I love you :D Muackss!!! :D <3

I won't allow us to be sad again (: <3

Is that so?

So now you expect me to understand everything?? You expect everything to be known is that so? I don't get you anymore? And all you were interested in was how i was talking to you on the phone? Is that so important, is that more important than what i was calling you for? You thought so is it? Why did you keep asking me questions like why am i so angry? Why am i fed up over this? Why am i like this why am i like that? What is wrong with you?? Is that so important!?!? And now i have given up hope on you, and i don't know if you can make me happy about you again....i'm sorry, i just don't know. Until then, don't expect me to smile for you or anything, i just can't. I just don't see the things you promised me and the things you said you would do, i can't even expect anything from you anymore. This hurts, badly. Whether or not i want to do this, it hurts still. And i'm in pain. So please tell me what is going on....are you not loving me anymore? I don't know why are you like this....tell me.... Goodbye.

Again you disappoint me....

So can you please tell me what made you forget again this time around?? So can you please tell me why are you always not doing what you told me you would?? I don't know whats wrong you know? I really don't know...things you told me you didn't wanna do because your parents haven't knew? Now they know right? So why arn't you doing it? Why is it that i remember and you don't? I really don't understand, you have disappointed me again tonight, And i don't know what to say about this. I hope you read this post, and know what i'm feeling now. You said you were blogging so you forgot to read or tag at my blog? But you remembered to wish your other friend happy birthday? So how do you expect me to trust you now? And you went offline totally un-affected, smiling and everything. And it wasn't like as if i was pretending to be happy, i wasn't even typing properly? Yet you just left, and i couldn't help but feel like you're stabbing me. You told me you wanted this chance, are you sincere about it? I don't know anymore....

First day of Holidays = NO GOOD

Hello :D

This won't be a depressing post luh so don't worry :D Yup, its actually a rather happy one. Just that i will be rambling non-stop LOL LOL LOL. Who did i learn it from?? :P
Kay sooo, the day started off with a rather fruitful phone call from Baby. :D Yup, i talked to her about how i was feeling and managing my decision from last night. Then i couldn't really talk properly and all and slowly i blew up into a quarrel of some sort. Then we resolved it, and we're starting all over again :D Yup so, problem solved!! LOVE YOU SO MUCHHH :D:D:D:D
Yup and then, had to go to school for parents-teachers meeting. Well it sucked big time if you asked me. I'm not going to elaborate but all i can say is that i WILL study hard and i WILL change. And i can manage my emotions, i don't even know where did they get comments like mood-swings and stuff like that -.-!! Yea so, i had quite a big quarrel with my Mum too because she was frustrated with the way i locked myself up in the room and not tell her my problems and stuff. But that too was resolved, so yup, everything is fine now :D HAHA.
Yea so i think i'm going to accompany my Brother Andrew to play SF before he goes out to seek a cure for his boredom LOL. :D If not, here ends my post :D

BYE! :D

My sunshine glows upon me once more :D Baby i love you!!! :D Happy 9th Anniversary (: I haven't forgotten despite everything :D <3

And i finally understand.

Hi again. (: My mood is totally different, not necessarily in a bad way. I feel, 'suppressed'. And 'subdued'. But at the same time, i feel this inner peace, and although it contradicts when i say i feel a little unhappy at the same time, it makes me think that perhaps this is the right way....
And so, on to why. My brother talked to me, and he told me many things. And it made me realise how important  it was that i recognised reality. That i accept the unaccomodating truth in life. Perhaps, i saw it the wrong way all this while. Perhaps support and understanding for her would only come, when i decide to let go. It wasn't even easy deciding to do that. It wasn't at all. But i had to, and i did. I told her how i had changed my thinking. I wouldn't care anymore, or rather, i would not bother. It sounds heartless, but perhaps heartless is what i need. It might look like i don't care, but perhaps not caring is what i should do. And it might look like i think its right, but not i only feel its necessary. Its a huge irony, that i must force myself to accept. To deny my bliss, for her sake. I never felt the urge to do this before, nor did i have the strength. But i have it now, and i will have it still.
What was my decision exactly? To let go of all the problems and frustrations i had, and let her do whatever she wants. ALL the problems that crop up from now on, i wouldn't give a damn anymore. All the unhappiness as well. I wouldn't voice it out, nor would i tell her why i was like that. If you want to continue changing, its entirely up to you. If i have the need to, i would forsake the thought that you are attached to me. Perhaps that would help, perhaps that is the only way i can do this. Nobody said it was easy, nor was it hard, but its very, very difficult. Its not just challenging to the mind, but to the body as well. And all i can pray for, is that it will work out well. If not, i would rather not live to see another day.
I fell for you, and from the moment i decided to get into this relationship, it was also a decision to put up with all this. I told you i didn't want to judge you, but if i did. It was extremely crude. I would say you are selfish, unaware, oblivious, inconsiderate. There are many judgments to make, but i won't continue. Just know that for the number of times our problems have resurfaced because you didn't take enough notice, those opinions were slowly formed, and from opinions they became a fact that i couldn't deny. But yet at the same time i'm forcibly denying it, explaining why i could never give you any answer with a definite conviction. All i can say is, it is up to you to decide what is best for us. I am no longer going to care about your affairs, but lets just say. I hope that you will see the greater meaning behind this, and do whats right. Not hurt me, anymore.
I will not apologise anymore, because i feel the reason behind this problems is our lack of communication and your lack of the ability to be aware. And it isn't my fault. If you have objections, come to me and speak it. Because you do not have the right to hide anything from me, i do, because i have to. Because i must, not because i want to. But because i'm obliged by reality to do so. With this, i end my post.
Goodbye. And, I love you.♥

Holidays have come!! :D

Hello!! :D

Yupyup, the June holidays are finally here !! :D Its a long awaited break for us haha :D:D But then again, its not necessarily as exciting as it seems...... Because you see, they claim it to be a break right? So how does weeks and weeks of supplementaries, choir practices, vocal consort practices, voice class, loads of holiday homeworks and project contribute to the fact that it is a break!?!? In addition, despite it being a holiday i might be seeing Baby even less than normal gosh.... :/
Yea but off from that, today was actually great all the way :D:D And i really hope that Baby can come over some time soon :D:D Will be calling her later, yupyup, so i'm happyyy!!!! :D:D HAHA :D:D Yea, and you uh!! Don't worry okay!!! I'm really fine luh :D:D Hahas, perhaps just tired, BABY SO CUUTE WHEN YOU WORRY :D:D :P 
Okay so, today didn't have much interesting events, so i shall not post too much :D Bye for now!! :D

Happy 9th anniversary baby!!! :D May our love last forever!!! :D <3

:D:D:D:D

HEYYYY I'M SORRY BABYYY!!!! :D:D:D:D:D WILL BE OKAY ALL THE WAY TILL YOU SEE THIS POST :D:D:D:D I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!!! :D:D:D <3 MUACKS! :D

HELLO :D

HIEEZZ :D

Firstly, SCREW MY SCREWED UP SCREWING SCREW-EST INTERNET DAMN IT. I took like fragging 30 mins to finally get everything moving if not all the pages go 'webpage not available', 'webpage can't be displayed'....WOW. If Singtel / StarHub ( whatever shit ) doesn't fix up that crap, soon its going to go ' ooh your job isn't available' .... -.-!!! So anyways, off that :D
Haha!! Today was GREAT :D Awesome good-ness !!! :D:D:D After me and Baby fixed up our problems, i cheered her upppp :D She said she needed to get over it but i helped her speed up the process :P HAHA :D Yeap so we had a great day today despite me not being able to see her much :D I went off for this learning journey and had quite some fun there ( not as fun as you :D ) because we were bastarding like crazy :P HAHA : D And i managed to get a flower and a Chick Statue for my BABYYY :D:D:D Yupyup :D
Then after the journey finished i rushed to the benches to meet my Baby :D:D Yup and we had a great time there tooo!! ( Short tho :P ) HAHA :D Yup so i THINK i'm going to rest but i will definitely sleep earlyy!! ( so you don't worry uh!! :P ) HAHA :D
-- And to you my darlingg baobei!! :D Don't over-work yourself or get stressed because of your MEP prelims, just plan out your time properly manage it and take care of your health as well because its important :D I pray that you will recover sooon!!! :D LOVE YOU!! :D
If not, here ends my post for today :D Toodles!! :D
Byeeee :D

We really are each other's miracle :D 

To you....I'm sorry....

I just yearn for your forgiveness. <3

Hey Baby,
                I don't know what to say. I thought over it. And i feel very selfish for everything that has happened....after several people talked to me, especially Kenny.... He told me lots of stuff, and i was reminded of it.... I feel so damn sorry.....
               I don't know what do say to you.... whatever i'm doing, bottling up, not telling you. being so rude... I know exactly, exactly, how it feels when i do such stuff to you. I know how you feel, but yet i can't help it... i know how hard you try to help me, how hard you try to squeeze time for me, but on my part? I guess i have done nothing but be a bastard.... I really don't know what have i been doing all this while apart from hurting you, mounting on your stress, piling stuff for you to worry.... i don't know. I cannot help but feel that coming into your life was nothing but trouble for you.... i don't know what to do to repay you, i don't know why i'm not able to become the Samuel that was so sweet to you, so loving to you, so caring for you, I want to be able to love you fully again, but theres just too many things going on in my mind and i don't have the time to sit down with you for a decent duration and talk it out....Baby... i'm just so sorry, I know how hurt you are, and how bad you feel.... i don't want it... I love you, like i said on the phone. Even though i was running out of breath mid-way, i still forced it out, i wanted you to know. I never done anything on purpose, i never meant to do anything intentionally. I don't want to see you hurt, i just want to make you happy....
               I guess i oughta talk to you more often, tell you my troubles, no matter how many.... I guess its why we're having so many problems.... and i just want to say that i really miss you so much, so much that i'm emotionally unstable.... i'm going through hell within me, and i want to purge it. But i can't do it alone, and i'm not sure if the future holds more bleak events for me, so i'm asking you again. And you musn't say it just to make me feel better, I want to know, if you can stand by me forever....
              Again, i'm sorry..... read this post and understand the meaning behind it. The soul i poured into it. Its the only thing i can do to start my comeback.... baby i really love you, i really do. And i'm determined to change all this, we can do this....so please, love me.... like you always,without fail,  say you do....
             -- Can we have those memories of love once more,
             -- Can we shelter each other from that cold pain once more,
             -- Can i have the chance to hug your soul with my heart once more,
             --  And can you please let me prove myself once more,
             -- Its all i'm asking, and my promise to you is my heart,
              -- I love you.... <3

Remorse....

Hey...

Yea....i feel damn sad now.... damn it, Like seriously damn sad.... I don't know how i'm going to feel better?? ya.... just typing this out so that i can express myself...i just thrashed myself up really bad and cried, i don't feel good one bit. Whats worse, i think i sprained my right-hand knuckles so i don't know when it will get better, damn it....right hand. My head is throbbing and i feel like the world is collapsing. And my breaths are getting shorter, like pants. I can't talk to her anymore, i don't know how will i last through the night.... And i feel selfish, and i'm making her studies getting affected and everything, damn it i feel so fragging fucked up..... Get back soon....no mood..... Bye.

I'm sorry <3

This is freaking irritating....

Hey (:

Fuck it today was not good at all, seriously. -.- Ya, had problems like FUCKING AGAIN. i seriously don't know when the F will this stop seriously, like fuck it man. Damn stressed up and i'm fragging pent up as it is, i don't even know what to do to vent it out apart from thrashing myself up or crying miserably. Either way, its just going to hurt the people who care for me and i'm not sure as to what to do....
And i HAD to BE THE SMART ASS i was and call my mum to come earlier when i had a GOOD FEELING that Baby could finish earlier than expected....Turns out??? She did, but i was already home. And i wasted a fragging good chance to spend time with her like FINALLY. WHAT THE FUCK. Deprived childhood much!?!? Whatever luh -.-
So as it is, i'm freaking irritated and i hope this doesn't get worse...whatever. I'm going to vent my anger out on games now.
Bye.

BABYY!!! :D

YUP THIS POST IS ONLY FOR HER :D

HEYY!!! :D:D:D HAHAHA :D:D:D Baby i'm sorry i'm sorry and i'm sorry okayy!!! :D This super-duper-uber lame but cute post is only for you so smile and become like a retard when you see it :P HAHA :D Yea i'm super high now altho my eyes are like dry :P But i really love you so much!!! ( i don't know where did that came from )  HAH :D So ya, Baby i just want to say that i will try to stay this happy all the way kay!!! :D And i really hope you can come over to my houseeee :D:D:D HAHAHA :D:D:D Baby you must stay happy tooo!!! :D For me for me for me!!! :D So ya, soon i shall write a post dedicated to you for our anniversary ( when i can focus better ) :D I LOVE YOU!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D

Fly away, i'll take you in my hands to the land of never-ending love :D

Damn this.

Yea i'm freaking irritated as you can tell.... so this won't be a long post i guess. I just want to ask, when was the first time you ever felt like a house was a prison?? Well i'm not talking about my house here, i'm talking about another person's. Its like, just because one of her friends posted on their facebook wall -- Fuck this Shit, then all manner of communications with him/her is limited or not allowed?? Come on lah, what the fuck is wrong with parents nowadays?? Can't you idiots just be more open-minded?? Why is it that you have to restrict everything she does?? I don't understand, or rather, i cannot because its just not reasonable. Think lah, why is she even rebelling?? ( i wouldn't even consider it as a decent rebelling since its so seldom ) Its because of what you parents have done to her. Get that into your thick skulls. Gosh. Stop dictating everything and anything on her, because it just doesn't feel good. If she really is your daughter and you really do love her, consider her happiness above everything else. Not only her god damn studies. Before she really breaks down, just stop it....
And you too, i hope you understand why i'm being like this. Why am i always so hostile when i talk to you about this, I need you to understand what is going to happen if you do something about this, Yourself. So yea..i still love you, its not that i don't. But i want to continue loving you with more freedom, as you want to as well. So please, harden your resolve and solve this problem. Its your family, and your parents. Not mine (: I love you, and i'm sorry if this hurts, But its a necessary evolution....

Long day.....

Hello! :D

Heyhey hahahas. :D Hahas, today sparked off really depressingly..... had some problems and took quite some time to clear it all up.... In the end missed the warmups with Choir so Sarah had to get Mel to do with her. HAHA, nvm next time then :P As usual, when i went to see Sarah was just staring at the keyboard.... SARAH LOOK UP AND COMMAND THEM LUH !!!! :P HAHA. :D Kay so anyways, 10.30-- we proceeded to ECP for the Passion Run CIP....also realised that i missed extra consort pracs because of this.... so. Ya. but it wasn't all that bad!!! HAHA. This passion run thingy gave me the chance to be super helpful yupyup :D And bonded the people at our station too!!! :D I not only helped out the runners, there were people before,during and after that i managed to help tooo :D Hahas, or do a good deed luh (: Feel so lifted now !! But pushed down cause i'm fragging tired!!! ): Like freaking 11 hours outside non-stop moving okay!!! HAHA.
Yea so i'm eating my dinner nowww, and i'm going to call Baby soon :D Miss her so damn much man! ): Hahas, well thats because i love youuuu !!!! :D:D:D
Hmm so, thats all. (: Toodles!!~~ :D

Bye and goodnight :D

Baby!! :D I think after i cried to you on the phone today, and you cried to me, i woke up. Big time, i think i'm finally clear of what to do now. (: Don't worry, all this while when i thought and thought, i didn't waste me time. (: Just like how i didn't waste my time Falling For You (: <3 Baby, believe me i will make your days sweeter and happier from now onwards :D I love you Baby :D <3 

To Baby (:

Heylow :D

The title might state so but this post isn't entirely to her only but there are parts which i need you readers to skip so yeapyeap :D
Anyways,first half of today was kinda depressing...but i kinda got over it luh hahas :D Then second half was pretty fun as i had to teach the choir with Sarah and Andrew!!! :D It was a blast working with them kay awesome ttm!!! :D:D:D Hahahas, i wish they can have 3 SCs.... ): ): ): And the new song is so fragging hard urgh!!! I asked Mr Kuek how to improve my section's range and he just gave me a ':D' face in reply OMG. LOL. Leave me in the lurch much!! ): Yea so after that, met Baby before she went back :D calling laterrr~~ :D And so, on to the reserved part ( skip please readers (: ).
Baby, today is our 8th week anniversary :D Yea i know...today was horrible to the max....to be honest with you i was so damn sorry after it was over...i just hid it till we met after school. But still, i don't think i should harp on it. But there are some stuff i really want to tell you. (: That firstly, Baby hurting you was never what i wanted....regardless of what i do, hitting myself, scolding myself etc. And i didn't mean to be so rude to you by saying stuff like don't care about me, don't bother anymore, fuck it. stuff like that....Baby i just wish you could know how i feel when i am depressed, and try to understand how much i'm always bottling up...and again its not that i want to keep you in the dark...its because i don't want to make you worry too much...which i have been. I realised i have been the cause of a lot of your troubles...quarreling with parents, bad studies, stuff to worry about, more restrictions... And i always doubt myself...if i really am the one who can give you happiness forever....Even now, our time is restricted even further..i just don't know what to do. And i really wish i could spend more time with you.... And i want to know if  you would love me at the expense of everything, because i would, But i cannot be in peace with myself if you can't....
But still, the 8 weeks were superb with you Dear. Really superb, you make me feel so happy when you're with me :D I always feel like smiling when i see you, and my day just gets better with you :D I want you to know that no matter what kind of shit crops up for us, break up will never be an option no matter how much i sound like it. NEVER. I promised you didn't i? Yes i did. So i will love you forever. And i would like to ask you. Might i know, if you would take upon the name of true love for me?? :D <3 So with that, with all the love in my heart, happy 8th week with me Baby :D I love you! :D

Let us dance away the sorrow, and love throughout the days to come :D 

The Time Has Come. (:

Hiieezz :D

Hehe, today was generally GOOD. :D Yupyup, seems like things are picking up and turning up for meee :D And my Baby hahas!! :D As usual we met, but i was kinda quiet throughout the meeting as last night was fragging horrible for me....no details mentioned luh. (: So ya...then she was super worried so she asked to meet again so i had to persuade her that i wasn't and i agreed to meet her! :D Hahas, but i had to see Ms Lui first (:
Apparently Mr Kwei already recommended the SCs of his liking HAHAs :D So he strongly recommended Andrew, Sarah and Me. Well okay, i wasn't surprised ( not boasting here its because he already told me he wanted me to be ) about what i mentioned in the brackets AS WELL AS what Ms Lui wanted to speak to me about (: hahas!! Yupyup, but i wasn't angry ( cool ! :D ) when i knew what she was saying luh, apparently Baby got pissed....and i had to like tell her to forget about it luh! :D I mean, whats done is done. And its hard to change a person's mindset after so many mistakes right! :D Hahas, but then i'm going to show the choir that i can do it. I'm going to prove my worth, that the recommendation was right.
But of course, no hard feelings for the other 2 candidates. They are both close to me, and i fragging hate it when there is a competition for such things. Worse thing is all 3 candidates don't mind not getting the position, its so fucked up seriously. They shoulda just picked 2 and left it as it is. No kicking out and shit. And honestly, i feel that if i don't get the post, i won't have any regrets whatsoever. (: In anycase, the other 2 are more than capable of doing it (:
And so, end of that topic :D I'll be calling Baby later and i doubt i'll post once more! :D So ya. :D If not, CYA! :D  THERES PRAC TOMORROW WOHHH!!! :D:D:D:D okay, lame much :P :P

Bye! :D

Baby!! (: Don't get angry at them okay? Not worth our time. And i didn't, so it shows something already :D Hahas, take care and i can't wait for tomorrow :D its out anniversary :D I LOVE YOU!!! :D

Yet another....

Kinda expected ain't it? (: I mean, how the day would turn out.....well okay, to be honest it was great at the start. Then everything started getting fucked up when Baby got back her papers for the day....again. Fucked up marks. Thing is, it wasn't her that got affected badly by her results. But me. I was thinking.....
Did i even do anything to help her in her exams??? Or was i merely a flawed distraction that served to pull her results down?? Yea, you can say its because of her parent's restrictions. But why are they restricting her that much?? Because she started texting and calling more when she got together with me....Tell me whats wrong. Damn it. And then i was so fragging depressed, i did stuff to myself. AGAIN. And it hurt her some more. I made her frustrated, i made her flare up at me because of how bloody silly i was, and lastly, i hurt her. I was so fucking stubborn, and all i do everyday is make her worry ( according to her texts which i re-read ) and i always argue back because i don't want to listen ( according to her texts again ). What the F is wrong with me.....Why love a person who's like this....Why....
If not, today was a really stupid day. Got screwed by my mum you know for what?? Because i asked if we're going back to grab an umbrella due to the rain and caused her to jump a red-light. Then she screamed her ass off at me. I quarreled with her after that. And that was the final event that spoiled my mood completely. This seriously sucks, i don't know when the fuck will this be over. But i can't fucking wait. This is fucking worst than MYEs. Damn it....

Baby <3 I don't want to keep reprimanding myself and putting myself down, but tell me what the hell is wrong with me. As you were desperately asking in your texts. I love you.....and i desperately hope you do....

Suckish day....

hey (:

Yea today sucked big time.... getting back of results and all.... Okay. I got back A math P1, E math, Chemistry, Physics SBQ and EL Compre and Summary. The worst, A math P1. I fucking screwed the paper damn it. I don't know whats wrong with me, i didn't practice a single question before the paper, or rather the entire Mid-Years. That explains the shitty results i have now. Seriously, it sucks TTM. 22/40, when i was a 80+ - 90 scorer, damn it la damn it. Fuck it. Then E Math, 67/100. What kinda fuck is that, like seriously my MATH and its like that..... Chemistry..pfft, a pathetic 69/100. Not even an A. So much for being good at that too...physics 48/80 for section 2. Speechless, nothing to say about myself. Luckily, FORTUNATELY, my EL wasn't as bad.... Compre -- 16/25 , Summary -- 19/25. That is quite decent...coupled with the fact that Ms Lian told me my compo scored 20 and above made my day more alive....and if not. Thats it. Well at least my EL proved a point.... But what the fuck luh, i totally regret not studying. Fact is i didn't do it on purpose, i just couldn't set my pen down to do it....fuck this....whatever luh, i'm just going to tolerate all the papers and then study real hard for the next half of the year...guess thats it...
And i met Baby after school today....my fucked up self couldn't even bring myself to look at her. I was just too bloody depressed, and i just kept hanging my head down.... Then i scratched myself and shit like that. Fuck it man. Now shes so damn worried, i wonder if i can ever cheer her up...since she performed badly for her papers too... .___.
The week of 18/05/10 --- 23/05/10, may i crown you the possibly worst week of my life... :/
And if not, i'm off, Fragging depressing post i know.... i am depressed anyways....So yea.
Bye.

Baby, i never meant to hurt you today...i'm so freaking sorry....and i just wish i can do something. But all i am capable of is wallowing in self-pity. Baby, just please be alright....i really,really love you...so much.(:  And i'm no longer bothered about what those people have with me, i will never be already. (: its nothing of my concern. its just you now... (: <3 Baby, cheer up. I'm here and everything is going to be alright...<3

To the ones that i have tried so hard.

I think i have apologised and said enough, but this will be the final. I have tried my best to tell you guys that i have changed. I have tried to be nice and everything. And even when i know that talking to you guys is going to make me look like a bloody retard and all, i still did. I went there, and swallowed all the scoldings until you guys promised me what i asked for. Do you think friends talk about them behind their backs? Just because you don't say it in front of us means you respect us?? Bullshit. If you want to know what is bullshit, its not me nor her. I said not to scold you, but i think its fair that i rebuke your post. With equal vehemence, and the same old stuff about BULLSHIT. Your self-denial, stubborn self is all but a pathetic reminder of how i have thought you guys out to be. Hypocrites even. One moment telling me that you're neutral, then another moment? Telling me that another that i'm disliked. If this is the way its meant to be, you know what? Fine. I accept. I ACKNOWLEDGE. But hey guess what, at least i bothered trying to explain myself. When my other seniors told me i didn't try hard enough, i went back for one last shot. So what you want from me now? Kneel and beg for forgiveness? No. You are not so great as to have that. And i would never expect to 'win' you guys since its practically 1- 'a whole army of self-deceived truth' . And you think that just by bringing up the past you can say that i'm a fucking bastard? Think again. Because i'm not the one, and you know who is. Bringing up the past, refusing to forget about it, being hypocritical, being petty, not recognising changes. Oh, so whos the mature one now? You?? No. absolutely NOT. Opinions? Form them with a proper base please thank you. Sarcasm makes you mature? I think you should suck thumb, and swallow that whole load of sarcasm. Because for the record, i came to you nicely. and i talk to you nicely. And all you gave me was a whole load of hostility and sarcasm. So you think you have the right to say i'm bullshit? To say i'm hypocritical? To say i'm immmature? I'm sorry you just don't. You just don't. And what kind of friends are you people? huh? When shes in trouble did you stand by her? or did you get all cold shoulder-ing style and start bad mouthing about her affairs. Dudes and dudettes, we arn't the ones with the issues, you guys are. Clear them up for goodness sake. Seriously. Stop thinking that you are so god damn smart ( yea i know you are, IQ speaking ONLY ) and going around forming invertebrate opinions about others. Get a life, because if disliking and being stubborn is all you guys live for, dying is a better option. Getting pissed at your posts? Pfft, i ain't, Because i'm mature. Proving it through action? I did, just that you guys CLOSE YOUR EYES when i do and say ' OH ITS A WHOLE LOAD'A CRAP' . You guys can continue hating and disliking me, gossiping about me, flaming me, and stuff like that. And you can continue saying some one is wrong, and spreading pathetic rumors about them. In the end, its not me who will lose out. Its the whole gang of you, because for the record. I'm not the only one who thinks your guys are like that. A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE DO. Maturity??? I think its obvious who has that now. - so familiar uh, ms. -

For you. my Baby (:

This post is dedicated to my Darling. (:

Baby,
          I know you cannot read this tonight, but its okay (: You can always come online some time tomorrow and read it, but make sure you read it well (: Baby, its been 6th weeks, 3 days. (: Soon our 7th week will come, and then 2 months would have flied past like 2 days. Just like how our love for each other came as suddenly (: Baby do you still remember the night that you wanted to confess to me?? I guessed it, that is why i said it to you instead the next day (: And from the day we accepted each other, our memories just keep getting sweeter and happier. (: Its like a miracle, that after so long we haven't quarreled. But there were times that things happened between us that made us frustrated with ourselves, worried, sad.....But baby, i want you to know that perhaps we can be perfect in one sense, but not in all ways (: That baby, everything i have been doing is for you (: and for us. (: That no matter what happens, i cannot help but feel that you are my everything. (: That i can, if i try, do anything for you. (: Baby, you have been what they call a miracle to me. (: I have been, what they call, a lucky star to you (: We have had our ups, and our downs. And we pulled through weal and woe, together, hand in hand, with the strength love grants us. (: We will never stop climbing this ladder of ever-lasting romance, and i will promise you this.
           That baby having said so much, i still want to emphasise that it isn't a perfect life i can give you. Nothing is perfect remember? But i for one believe in this. That perfection exists in the effort to strive for perfection. That as long as i keep trying, harder and harder, to love you all the more, to care for you all the more, to give you memories that no one else can give you, i believe one day, that it will show fully. That others will come in time to support us, to recognise that i am a good man. That i can give you happiness. And most importantly, that you will recognise that. (:
           I believe that forever love exists. I believe that you can change. I believe that if i wait, things will become even better than now. I believe that we were meant for each other. Baby, i believe in you. (: 
           So i will stand by you forever, till the end of time. And i will always be holding your hand, guiding and walking the path of love with you. Should you ever falter, i will be there for you. Should you ever see darkness, i will be your light and your guide. Should you ever feel lost, i will be your direction. And should you ever feel hopeless, i will grant you faith. Because baby, i love you. (: And that is how i see, those 3 words to potray a picture of a sweet never-ending memory (: A sweet never-ending memory, of us (: 

Baby only you, granted me the strength to have posted this (: I love you so much. (: <3

Looking forward (:

Hey :D

I feel freshened up, like finally a weight off my body. Just had some kinda trouble with Baby....but its totally okay now and i hope she can come over later. I really want want to see her badly hahas.... (: And then i also feel very angelic because i repented. Turned over a new leaf. I have decided to change for the better, and wait until they finally notice it and support me again (: So if not, this post will end here, Not many things to say. (:
I just want to tell you Baby, that no matter what happens i will never separate from you, i will always love you no matter what. (: Baby, i love you. AASTF :D <3 

Loving you is more than just pleasant (: 

:D:D

Heylowww :D

Tonight was awesome shitttzzz!!! :D:D:D Had an awesome time with Baby and although i got troubled for awhile everything turned around after that and me and Baby had a great time today!!! :D:D:D Hahahs, so happyyyy :D:D:D Shall call her tomorrow and be patient to see her on tuesday!! :D:D

Byee!!! :D:D

My baby (: I'm sorry for making you break up with so many of your friends, i guess i was troubled by that too.(: But in anycase,i'm fine and i promise i won't dwell upon it too much :D If not, TONIGHT WAS GREAT. BABY I LOVE YOU!! :D:D:D TOGETHER FOREVER:D:D MUACKS!!! :D <3

AWESOME DAYYY!!!!! :D:D:D:D

HIIEEEEEEZZZZZZXCZX :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Hahahahs, today was fragging greaaatttt!!!! :D:D:D tonight was freaking greatt toooo!!! :D:D:D:D hahas, at first, the day started off boring.....like bloody boring...because its like, i had no games to play and nothing to do damn it luh OMG la. -.- LOL, so it was like that from...9am? ya. fucked up much LOL. And i had to wait for my 'brunch' for 3 hours ya so thats another stupid thing LOL..... But anywayyysss, things turned around my Baby's mum allowed her to go out with me like WOOOH!!!! :D:D:D:D I was damn happyaaeyeee laaa :D And the Outing turned out GREAT :D tonight's 5-7.30pm was pure heaven for me okay!! :D And my Baby was so beautiful toooooo :D:D:D Hahahas, she said i looked nice too but uhm...LOL. :P
So anyways, i'm like super happy now but probably will get tired later :P Shall call Baby again at 10 ( i just called her :D ) Hahahas, :D If not, toodles!! : D

My Baby (: Tonight was super awesome, it was like no other outing i ever went out on before (: Baby, your heart and presence make me feel like i'm whole :D I love you!! Forever.(: <3 MUACKS!!! :D :D:D

WOOOHH!!!! :D:D:D:D

HElloooozz :D:D:D  HAHAHAS :D

OMG OMG Today was GREAT OKAY!! :D We didn't need to go school early because our practical shifts started at 10 so YAY :D HAhahahas , but anywayss... (:
Something sad happened...hahahas, and i feel sorry to my Baby... i mean ya...i won't say much, just that i'm really sorry....but its all okay now :D:D:D She came over to my house HAHA :D:D:D And we had GREAT LOADS of FUN YAY!!!! :D:D:D:D <3
Then she had to go back and lie to her mum repetitively hahas if not we would have been found out!! :P hehe, i really have nothing to post about eh LOL...Just that i'm like super happy now and i feel me and my Baby got even closer :D:D So yessss (:
Might or might not post again tonighttttt :D But i can call babyy hahahas :D So ya, really lame post -.- LOL. Byez!! :D

My Baby(: I'm really sorry for just now, and it hurt me so much to see those 2 scars on your arm..i just want to say that i'm terribly sorry for everything. everything, everything...i seek your forgiveness, as you seek mine (: But i feel that i understand you more now, whatever it is that happens, i will turn a blind eye to it, i won't be such a bastard any longer (: Baby, today was awesome shitttt, and i really love it :D Baby, i really love YOU:D :D <3 Muacks!! :D <3

Its over finally....

hey (:

This is it, its finally over. Tomorrow is just practical exams for us so i don't really give a damn about that. Thing is, i'm not happy....
I don't know what got over me today, but i just feel that i didn't perform well for my physics pa per... and plus. Something is bothering me....yea.... Readers, skip the next part kay? (: Thank you....
Does the problem lie with me? Or does the problem lie on you? I don't know Baby....if you claim you're a bitch, i'm no better. I'm no better at all.... i SO wanted to slash my head, i was gripping it that hard. And i wanted to punch a hole into that bench, but i didn't. Not in front of you to be exact. I wasn't a good boyfriend at all, i wasn't.... so what if i gave you that letter...its for nothing. French inside and everything is solved? No i don't think so either....i am pathetic. I'm just a sickening loser. And Baby, i don't deserve the apologies and the pity, i deserve a disgusting fate.
Bye.

I don't know if i can ever pay you back.....<3

2 more days!!!! :D:D:D (kay maybe 1 more :P )

HIEEEZZZZ :D:D:D:D:D

Hahahas, today was greaaaatttt like suuuuperrrr awesomeeee :D:D:D:D HAHAHAHs, because BABY ROCKS BABY ROCKS!!! :D:D:D Yessss HAHA :D YAY YAY YAY !!! :D Okay...enough retarded-ness...:P
So anyways, papers were farely well done today surprisingly HAHA. still, i won't be expecting much from this midyears papers la.....don't know the stupid me suddenly didn't have the mood to study RIGHT at this period sigh...but oh well. I won't cry over spilled milk, i'm going to start mugging straight after MYEs :D:D:D Wish me luckksss peopleezzzz :D:D:D:D:D
And OMG, the bastards have stoppedd :P HAHA, well thats better actually saves me the trouble (:
And And And!!! :D:D:D I'm doing something for my babaayeee nowww :D:D:D For our 6th weekk :D Its coming Baby our 6th week YIPPEEE :D:D:D:D HAHA.
If not, i might or might not post again!! :D Byeeeee!!! :D:D:D

Baby!! :D Baby, exams are over lets just chill out...i don't want you to get upset over your papers any longer...i love you alright baby?? :D:D Sweet hugsss :D 6th week is cominggg :D:D:D ♥♥♥

Alright, the bastards who want to play. I don't care if you tag with your name or not, bring it on.

3 more days (:

Hi.  I guess i'm really not in the mood to post now, recently its also because of a bunch of VANESSA'S friends who are fucking being trolls on my blog by tagging non-stop. Eh seriously uh the whole bunch of you, if you don't stop i won't do anything back. But take note, continue and your just proving my point of you being fucking childish. so, off that.
I seriously cannot take it when some parents can't see things rationally. Its after exams for GOD's sake, yes GOD's sake because apparently who i'm referring to are CHRISTIANS. Its not like shes going to get raped everytime she goes out right?!?! Why the fuck is there a need to restrict her post-exam time?? like OMG la seriously OMGOD. I know this is an insult( and i'm sorry to all christians out there, sincerely), but GOD DOESN'T favor you more for being so freaking ridiculous. So stop it. seriously. Before she blows up at you idiots, STOP IT. Confiscate phone over the entire week?? Restrict phone time until so little?? No post-exam freedom?? Stress her like mad?? Come on man, be REALISTIC. she isn't a bloody robot, she can't do EVERYTHING you want her to.and she will definitely NOT score 6 points for her Os by doing what you people are asking her to.so STOP IT.
But if not, i'm can't wait for tomorrow hahas :D Even if i am in a good mood later, i doubt i will post already so yaaaa (: Bye (:

Baby i'm sorry...but i am already fine now so don't worry alright?(: Baby i love you, so so much (: <3 Lets have lots of fun tomorrow! :D Muacks muacks babyayeee!! :D <3 

4 More Days!!! :D

Heyyyy!!! :D

Sup peopleezz, its 4 more days to end of mid years hahas :D Glad all the humans papers are finally over, so i have only math and sciences to mug for :D hahahas, actually i didn't study much for midyears....): So i'm kinda like screwed already urgh .__. But nvms uh, i just have to wait till mid-years are over and i get back my papers, then i'm gonna start mugging already. Yea i know retarded since exams just finished but who cares HAHA :D
So anyways, today was fantasticccc :D:D:D  Met my Baby in the morninggg, and then actually i was really tired so she asked me to go home first after my paper ends ( 9.20am ).... but after that she texted me saying she missed me and all so i stayed haha :D:D ( since i was no longer tired after my pure geog paper O.o ) Then we had a great time at the benches so YAY YAY YAY :D:D:D:D I LOVE YOU BABBYYYAAYYYEE!!! :D:D:D:D ♥♥♥♥
Short post since i have nothing else to sayyy :P But i just can't wait for Mid-Years to be over uh!!

Bye and nights!! :D

My Baby(: Our 6th week is approaching, i doubt i'm giving you anything since Friday will be out gift for each other :P HAHA :D Baby i really love you so much!!! :D:D:D Your priceless to me, i will treasure you forever :D:D:D  BABY I LOVE YOU !!!! :D ♥♥♥

5 more days !!!

Hellloooo :D

Its 5 more days to the END of mid-years :D:D:D Hahahahs, its actually quite long but i'm sure time will fly :D Yes, time always flies in my life because of you :D:D:D 
Hahas, so anyways, tomorrow is Pure Geog paper and honestly, i haven't studied SHIT. I'm seriously dead, i know i am dead but i just can't bring myself to study urgh... .__. I don't know uh, just don't have the motivation to do anything for Geog....maybe i'll just read through later :D
Yea sooo.... today was kinda great! actually :P Except for one part of the day ya...i got a little stupid and stuff...but oh well, both sides are wrong eh? (: I'm just really sorry babyy!! :D Cheer up soooon :D I love you!! :D Muackszxc :D ! Off that, some interesting stuff happened uh....like a lecture on relationships from my primary school friend as well as a very childish squabble in my family ( excludes me and my bro ) . Elaboration will be included (:
Lets start with the lecture. You see,i was talking to him about me being attached to my Baby and all. Then he started telling me stuff like people having puberty spurt growths and stuff, and serial dating and all. Like fuck it man, do i? No i don't. And fuck it again, do i not know puberty? No i do know. ( better than most people out there) Look seriously, for people who are trying to tell me that this second one ain't gonna last, why not just go suck a dick and think again. If i have doubts about it would i even go on? Plus the fact that i broke up once if i ever had doubts about a second one i wouldn't even have gotten into it right? Apparently, this one makes me feel different. And all you bastards out there just know how to be jealous, envious, cautious ( for god knows whos sake ) . If your reasons are valid and shit, then bring it. But what i have been hearing so far i have already either talked to her about it OR knew it. Reason? I'm 10 times more mature than you. Things you know now i already knew it 5 years ago. So ya, thats the end for this topic. (: 
Then the squabble, well it started with my mum and dad quarreling over the maid ( -.- -.- -.- ) . Apparently, my dad was trying to tell her to try not to shout at her too much ( which i don't know why she IS starting to do it a little too much ) and my mum CLAIMS that he said she was doing that ( which she is but she doesn't want to admit it ) . i didn't know they quarreled till my mum brought it up again ( for don't know what the fuck ) . So ya, that was the first. Mood-spoiler no.1 covered. And then, my stupid sister threw a tantrum over a bowl of porridge that she didn't want ( btw shes fragging 17 -.- ) and went all mafia on my dad while she asked ( show-off much ). Then she stomped off and starting slamming shit all over ( like seriously, get a life and be your age -.- ) and my dad went to over-turn her porridge ( LOLLL....but still >> -.-!! ). Yea so, for every bracket in this passage here it piles up on the childish attitude my family has just displayed. I finished my dinner, and left WW3 to continue. 
Yea so here i am, going to read Geog and hopefully talk to my Baby again!!! :D Hahas, if not seeing her tomorrow morning will do fineeeee :D:D:D:D  Can't wait uh!!! :D:D:D

If not, toodlessss~~~ :D

Babbyyyy!!!!! :D:D:D:D I'm really really sorry for just now okayy!!! :D Muacks!! :D I'll try to be EVEN more understanding in the future :D:D:D So just cheer up and smile big!! :D Baby i'm always going to be with you so everything is okay!! :D Kiss and Hug!! :D  Love you so much babbyy!! :D LOVE YOU A LOT. :D:D:D ♥♥♥

I'm so HAPPAAAYEEEEE :D:D:D

Hellooooozzzzzzz :D

Supsupsup hahahaha :D Yea i'm like super high now although this won't be a long post luh actually :P Cause i'm kinda busy now LOLLLL. :P
So but anyway, today was great from the start although study wise i'm not great at all since i haven't studied :P Studying laterrrrr :D:D:D:D:D:D
But i had lots of calls with Baby so that was a very happy thing hahahah :D Then i was kinda worried for her since shes tired and she won't have many chances to rest more and anything, i hope she is fine!!! :D
And i can't wait for Fridayyyayyyeee!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D Its like going to be sooooo awesome, but i have to tolerate the whole week of MYEs shit first.... ): ): haha, oh well. Life isn't fair :D
So with that, i end my post. :D Just want to say this week has been GREAT! :D And you know why (:  ♥

Byeee and goodnighttteee :D

Baby(: You make me so happy, i don't know how to say it to you (: I hope i do too,:D I really love you so much my babby, we'll be together forever!!! :D:D:D  ♥ ♥ ♥

Awesome or not Awesome??!! :D:D

Heyhey :D

Hahas, today's papers were fairly smooooooth. Wasn't too difficult haha!! I think i should score for History i hope i do!!! :D If not, time spent in school today was GREAT. :D:D
Met Baby in the morning, and had a great talkkk with herrrr :D Then after that, we split for our papers. So Baby had this huge super long break after her practical so she spilt into half-half for her friends and me :D Yea so, that was like super goooood :D:D Me and Baby had a great time thereeee!!!! :D:D:D OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABYYYY :D Muacksss!!!! :D    Haha. :P
Okay so, Mid-Years are down to the last weekk. Once its over i will be on cloud nineeeee :D:D:D:D:D I confirm you guys that after my practical ends i will be screaming my ass offffff :P HAHA. :D  And because i can spend time with Baby on that dayyyyy :D:D:D:D:D
Today's post is short, i might post again tonight depending :D If not, i'm offff :D:D:D

-People!!! Its one more week!! come back from the weekends fresh and alive and lets do this Mid-Year shit. :P JIA YOU!!! - :D

Byeee!!! :D

My dearest baby (: I don't need long letters or fantastic gifts to be happy, i don't need you to separate yourself from all your close male friends. I don't need you to be perfect. Because to me since 010410, i have already received the best gift i will ever have from you.(: Even small notes will make me smile, be creative. and i'm sure you can make me happy and be sweet to me too. :D My darling, its all because i love you so much (: ♥♥♥

5th week Baby 5th week :D:D:D

Hi Hi Hi Hi :D:D:D:D:D

Today was GREAT!! :D Well i don't include the sadness and sorrows that people 'harvest' from the acknowledgement of a bad attempt at a exam paper :P Yea, so you guys get what i mean!!! :D Today's papers was like okay-okay.... A Math was frigging hard and seriously loads of people are going to screw up. I hope i score decently....  .___.  Hahas, and i didn't even try hard at the Chemistry Paper so i predict an average score too... .__. oh well!! who cares luh, i'm still happy because yadehyadehyadeh :D:D:D
So anyways, after school today i managed to see my Baby for quite long haha :D We had a great time and i gave her a SUUUUUPER long code to decipher with her phone. She took quite some time, with my blessing , " Have fun!!" LOLLLL. :P :P :P  But oh well, she smiled so wide after she got it so it was worth the time spent :D Yeaaaa hahahahahs :D  Baby i love you so much!!!! :D:D:D Muacks!!! :D :D 
Then back home, i called her twice hahas once immediately and once just now :D So that was something great toooo, but i had a sucky dinnerrrr ): ): ): But then again, no cause to be sad about that its all negatedddd :D
So anyways, a whole long post about rambling :P
Next section is to my Baby so readers can skip it : D
Baby its our 5th week!!! Just want to say that its been awesome shitzzz with you, :D I really don't care when people say we are happy just because its a short time. I seriously don't care. Because i know that we will be this happy forever, we show them kay? :D Our bond is strong, really strong. :D Baby i will never separate from you, my hand and shoulder will always be there for you :D Be happy knowing that you are forever in my embrace :D I'm yours, and your mine :D My darling sweetie angel, I love you :D:D:D ♥♥♥
Bye and good night!!! :D

HAPPY 5TH WEEK AGAIN BABY!!!! :D I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCHHH!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D♥♥♥

Baby!!!! :D

Helooozz :D

Late post from me hahas. :D Just finished studying A math, or rather, i don't want to continue with Math anymore hahas. I still plan to do a Chemistry paper later and i can't afford to tire myself out too much YET! :P Yea so, effective planning will lead to efficient work completion and a more pleasant future to look forward to :P This is also part of Anticipating Changes, planning ahead and Staying Relevant to the future :P LOL, SS was screwed up today by the way ): ): Oh well, effects of not studying well uh ( despite all that crap :P ). :P But neverminddd theres something which makes me happy so i'm not affected too much :P
But anyways, I'm just really really sorry to my Baby. I know this few days have been reeaaaalllyyyy hard on you and i won't say its my fault. Lets just say its the incident's fault. But of course, i could have chose to ignore it but i didn't....guess i do take things a little too hard after all. But oh well, my mind is set and i can promise you Baby that you won't be sad because of me or my stuff for the next whole week and if possible even more!!! :D Baby i love you so much!!!! :D
Hahahahs, other than that i'm going to talk to my Baby some more later before sleeping :P At about 10 i'll call her? :D HAHAs, cant wait uhhhhh :P  Then i just want stupid MYEs to be finished before me and Baby can have time together!!!! :D I don't mind if we can't go out on Sat and Mon, guess its just like that and i have to cooperate with uncooperative parents.. .__.  Oh well, paradoxical much. (:
If not, my post ends here!!! Fellow MYE candidates out there, its just 1 more week to go so JIAYOU ALL THE WAY!!!! :D

Bye and goodnight :D

My baby, i really love you so much(: That will never change and i will only grow to love you more and more as time passes. (: No matter what happens, you will forever be my Baby and i will forever be that imperfect but sweet heart for you to love in your life.(: Beautiful baby darling, muackz all over!! :D ♥♥♥

Its only for you (: ♥

I shed tears of love with every sentence in this letter. (: ♥

My baby,
                I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, everything i have done to make you sad. Whether intentional or not, it happened.....and i can't forget it. I don't know why, i'm just extremely extremely confused.... like. When i think about it, about how i'm nice to you sometimes, how i make you worry sometimes. Yea, we haven't quarreled once at all ever since we got together. That is one point. But baby, sometimes i just hate myself. I hate how i make you down, i hate how i make you worry, i hate how i make you frustrated at me blaming myself. I just hate it when i make you frown, I just hate it when i cannot lift your head up gently, kissing you on the lips to assure you that i'm fine. Hugging you to secure you warmly.... I just hate myself for whatever i can't do right. i mean so what if people say i am nice and mature? I think i let you down greatly sometimes.... I don't know when i will ever get over this but i think right now. Your the only one who can help me love myself again. Give me the reason to do so.....
                Baby, i want you to know this too. That no matter what happens, i'm never going to leave you. I will do whatever it takes to make you smile, to love you. I want to be with you forever, and i hope you give me the chance to do so. Our 5th week anniversary is approaching, and i won't let you down anymore. (: Baby, no matter how much i hate myself, i love you.

Yours with hope,
Darling -- Samuel.

My Baby(: don't cry when you read this, i love you.  (: ♥♥♥

Hello (:

Hey (:

I'm still posting quite frequently uh? hahas...guess i need a platform to express myself.... well i mean. Sometimes, my posts get a little too personal and all so avoid it if ya'll don't like it aye? (: hahas.
Yea, so....today was fine i guess? ya.... first day of MYEs and i ain't stressed up at all. Ya, just want the whole thing to be over..... yea.
Getting to the point..... let me ask you guys.... have i changed? Yes? No? Hahas, guess you wouldn't know la...since you guys probably don't know me too well....oh well. Some people tell me yes ( for the better ) others tell me no ( remain the same ) .... i don't know what to believe. I asked, and some people tell me that i'm actually a nice person. Well, there are others that hate me. The latter is always more comfortable to believe actually....
I mean, i don't know but i feel that i'm just......self-hated. I don't appreciate myself, i hate myself. Ya, no matter how much some one loves me, i still hate myself. Yea, today i gave my body some really bad attitude. And my eyes as well. I punished myself? ya....if i will put it that way. I don't think i deserve anything better, for what i'v done or anything. I just feel like i'm not right....i don't say the right things....i don't do the right things....i don't make people happy....i'm too selfish.....i'm just an ass. Yea....
I guess working on it after my exams will be good? I don't know.....i'll have to see.

But in anycase, i might or might not post again later at night. Depends. (:

If not, early nights to you people out there.....

Baby,i'm sorry. But this is genuinely how i feel and i can't hide it from you on my blog.... I just want you to know that there is no one else who will make me love myself once again other than you. But how? That is up to you to figure out, even i don't know. But i know its you. If you can't, it really doesn't matter, its been 15 years of self-hate. I'm used to it. Baby, i love you♥♥♥

fuck this.

This is fucking stupid, all i do is BE stupid. I'm such a fucking loser, fucking mother bitch. I'm just a fucking mother bitch. Ya. I would be better off pummeling myself right now. Screw exams, Screw my life, Screw myself, Screw everything that has got to do with me and me only. Fuck this.
Bye.

Hellooooo.....

Hiiezz (:

The day has been fine so far.....but not spectacularly great i suppose? ya.... sigh. MYEs is seriously taking its toll on me, not the study stress. Mental pressure. Its like, i start thinking of stuff..... Was reminded of my Baby when i saw some of her pics of which she went out with her ex and all.... thats not the point la. Point is, i haven't been able to go out with her ever since we got together.....we have like miserable time together and the feeling just sucks. ):  I wish we can have time to spend together, go out, chill out, hang out at each other's houses..stuff like that. Ya know, wearing casually and just meeting at some spot and walking around. Perhaps eat together. That would be so cool, it would so make my day..... too bad i just won't have that kind of luxury perhaps. Cause seriously, what Singaporean PARENTS ( apart from mine ) are lagging nowadays is Open-Mindedness. Like come the shit on man, is teenage relationships really SO FUCKING bad??? I mean ya, if the girl OR the boy isn't happy in the relationship then jolly well break them! I'm fine right? But no. Even when the girl is OBVIOUSLY so much happier WITH the guy, you STILL have to object. Even without knowing, your already objecting to it. Like what the F is wrong with you adults la seriously, get some grip over that bloody traditional old thinking of yours. Its just SO frustrating......ya. Even after MYEs, there is a risk my Baby's mum wanting her to go out with her or something. LIKE COME ONE WHAT THE FUCK, its HER day, its after HER exams, let her spend her time on her own right?? gosh.... :/
Ya, i just had to express all that shit. sigh......
But if not, i have to continue mugging my STUPID humans now. like SERIOUSLY, SCREW the government and its god damned nonsensical GOOD governance crap. Like why the hell are we having to learn all that shit? I'm not interested in managing traffic or managing some stupid healthcare SHIT. And i'm certainly not keen to sign fucking treaties and know the bloody ratio of warship fleets in 5 nations. Screw that.

Yea, bye and goodluck for mugging you exam candidates out there. ( born-to-be-dead fellas )

Baby i'm sorry, this post is really depressing but i had to vent it out. Don't worry i'm fine (: I love you.(: ♥♥

Urgh fuck it.

Hi, once again.

Seriously, staying up to mug sucks. But i have no choice, struggling to finish this post, a short one. Just want to say i'm hell tired, going to sleep after this. MYEs is fucking stress kay? Stupid MOE, motherfucking Government.
And ya, i'm troubled.

Nights.

I'm sorry baby....love you.<3

:D

Heyheyhey "maureen" LOL okay that was lame :P

HI READERSSSSS :D:D:D:D

This few days has been generally good for me, i really like how its going.(:  Hope everything will resume as per normal or for the better. Sometimes as i review what has happened, i really feel that at times, i'm either really dumb or really nice. Hmm.... i only started becoming the latter this year. Its hard to describe how it feels to have a summary of my own life, but it feels really secure? On myself la. It makes me feel that i know myself so much better, that i know how MYSELF works. If you think about it, have any of you ever thought about how you yourself work. Its a magical thing, especially when you have logical theories about life. For me, i have them. And it really is logical. So much so that people older than me by 2 years find themselves less mature than me. Yea, its kinda cool isn't it? :D  Right, that was some 'sensible rambling' LOL. :P
I find myself SO much more understanding than other people, to be specific, other boyfriends. Today, Darling told me that she is siblings with a junior of ours. And that they say love you to each other and all.....well, imagine its another boyfriend hearing that, he would have been SO pissed. Honestly, i wasn't. At all. I feel, this is one point that should be greatly appreciated, and not taken advantage of in any manner. That the fact that i am like that is to be happy about it, and not use it to do more. (:  I am not saying my Baby is doing that, i'm driving this to everybody out there. That sometimes, a person being good is not for you to take advantage of it. Yea, i could have been disappointed, pissed and annoyed at Darling, but i wasn't. If you would want the reason, its Love.(:
Hmm, just ended a talk with my Baby, i miss her so...so....much. ):  I haven't been able to contact her via text either. So i always have to wait for phone calls ( which are pitifully short and never cease to be interrupted by the self-proclaimed al-mighty righteous elders ) to be able to talk to her.
I really miss her voice in person, i really miss her smiles, i really miss how she laughs, how she holds my hand, how we can meet up and be natural once per week. I really miss loving her in person, i really miss you my baby....but i told myself to stay happy for her (: Yea, i shouldn't let myself get affected too much, after all after exams i will have time with her :D Yea, i'm looking forward to that. (:
If not, i end my post here. Have to mug my history till mid-night again. .__. League of Nations, Treaty of Versailles, Stalin, seriously go screw your self up thanks :P

Bye and goodnight, sweet dreams to you(: 

My dearest(: You show me what its like to have meaning in life, i cannot express how much i appreciate you. Baby, i just love you. So much, i'll be with you for eternity(: ♥♥♥