To you....I'm sorry....

I just yearn for your forgiveness. <3

Hey Baby,
                I don't know what to say. I thought over it. And i feel very selfish for everything that has happened....after several people talked to me, especially Kenny.... He told me lots of stuff, and i was reminded of it.... I feel so damn sorry.....
               I don't know what do say to you.... whatever i'm doing, bottling up, not telling you. being so rude... I know exactly, exactly, how it feels when i do such stuff to you. I know how you feel, but yet i can't help it... i know how hard you try to help me, how hard you try to squeeze time for me, but on my part? I guess i have done nothing but be a bastard.... I really don't know what have i been doing all this while apart from hurting you, mounting on your stress, piling stuff for you to worry.... i don't know. I cannot help but feel that coming into your life was nothing but trouble for you.... i don't know what to do to repay you, i don't know why i'm not able to become the Samuel that was so sweet to you, so loving to you, so caring for you, I want to be able to love you fully again, but theres just too many things going on in my mind and i don't have the time to sit down with you for a decent duration and talk it out....Baby... i'm just so sorry, I know how hurt you are, and how bad you feel.... i don't want it... I love you, like i said on the phone. Even though i was running out of breath mid-way, i still forced it out, i wanted you to know. I never done anything on purpose, i never meant to do anything intentionally. I don't want to see you hurt, i just want to make you happy....
               I guess i oughta talk to you more often, tell you my troubles, no matter how many.... I guess its why we're having so many problems.... and i just want to say that i really miss you so much, so much that i'm emotionally unstable.... i'm going through hell within me, and i want to purge it. But i can't do it alone, and i'm not sure if the future holds more bleak events for me, so i'm asking you again. And you musn't say it just to make me feel better, I want to know, if you can stand by me forever....
              Again, i'm sorry..... read this post and understand the meaning behind it. The soul i poured into it. Its the only thing i can do to start my comeback.... baby i really love you, i really do. And i'm determined to change all this, we can do this....so please, love me.... like you always,without fail,  say you do....
             -- Can we have those memories of love once more,
             -- Can we shelter each other from that cold pain once more,
             -- Can i have the chance to hug your soul with my heart once more,
             --  And can you please let me prove myself once more,
             -- Its all i'm asking, and my promise to you is my heart,
              -- I love you.... <3