Hello!!! :D
This will be a rather disjointed AND rushed post because i have to hurry off to complete projects ): So anyways today was rather emo until half way through when i 'woke up'. I shan't elaborate because its going to be super draggy :P
Time spent with Baby ( phone calls included ) was really awesome considering our current situation so i'm glad about that :D Tomorrow i'll get to see her more so YAY!! :D
And so if not i shall go for now shall post a better one a.s.a.p. Not so soon though, i have projects and tons of homework and studying to do :D Or rather, self-imposed ones ;P HAHAHA :D
BYE!!! :D And sleep well uh you!! I love you!!! :D :D :D <3 <3
29.6.10
27.6.10
An unbearable truth
Hey.
Today sucked as much as last night. Ah maybe its just a continuation from the previous. What to do? Nothing surprises me anymore, anyway. I'm just glad at least later i'll get to see Andrew, been a long time since i saw him in person. Right now, he is one of those who hasn't hurt me real big time yet. Cool huh?
So you said you didn't know. You didn't know this, you didn't know that. Do you know how ridiculous it sounds? Why is it that everytime i ask for answers and explanations all you can tell me is you didn't know and you thought this would be blabla? Its like shrugging off all the blame and responsibilities and you expect me to believe that? To think when i was so freaking down, you were happy. Do you know how selfish that was? You left me with the impression that you were going to be down all the way, and then you went ahead to cheer yourself up. How does that work to make me feel better? You told me you didn't want me to worry, but for this case is different right? You left saying " fuck la whatever ". How does that help tell me?
I don't understand. You hurt me so bad, and you say you love me. I told you, lets break up. You just don't want to. I don't understand. My heart aches. I feel like ending my pain permanently. I really feel like it.....
Farewell.
Today sucked as much as last night. Ah maybe its just a continuation from the previous. What to do? Nothing surprises me anymore, anyway. I'm just glad at least later i'll get to see Andrew, been a long time since i saw him in person. Right now, he is one of those who hasn't hurt me real big time yet. Cool huh?
So you said you didn't know. You didn't know this, you didn't know that. Do you know how ridiculous it sounds? Why is it that everytime i ask for answers and explanations all you can tell me is you didn't know and you thought this would be blabla? Its like shrugging off all the blame and responsibilities and you expect me to believe that? To think when i was so freaking down, you were happy. Do you know how selfish that was? You left me with the impression that you were going to be down all the way, and then you went ahead to cheer yourself up. How does that work to make me feel better? You told me you didn't want me to worry, but for this case is different right? You left saying " fuck la whatever ". How does that help tell me?
I don't understand. You hurt me so bad, and you say you love me. I told you, lets break up. You just don't want to. I don't understand. My heart aches. I feel like ending my pain permanently. I really feel like it.....
Farewell.
25.6.10
:D
Hello! :D
Long time since i posted, because i haven't got anything to say for the past few days. As usual, things are still horribly draggy .__. The holidays HAVE been draggy anyway. Its either choir, or homework, or reading books, or gaming. I haven't seen Baby for don't know how long lahhhhh urgh .__. I feel so love-sick damn it. :/ Ya but anyway, good thing is we still have phone calls so that is something good to look at? I guess... .__.
Yea and today was one of the better days in the span of this horrific holidays. I woke up at about 7 feeling extremely exhausted since i slept at freaking 2a.m last night.... I've been feeling shagged for don't know how many weeks now.... Then i went to bath, felt much better after that. Forced down a cold, semi-moist breakfast of bread with butter and sugar ( i didn't specify so my mum made that :/ ) and washed it down with hot tea ( that felt so good in the cold damp morning ). Got ready and set off for choir. The day didn't start off well because it was raining so heavily .__. It was practically pouring cats and dogs and i was drenched even before i reached school -.- Actually planned to meet with the SLs earlier to discuss some issues but turned out all of them were late due to the rain. Perfect plan shattered just like that. And i had to talk to Ms Lui about 'matters' that apparently after they heard me out they didn't have any concerns anymore. Cool huh? :P
The grace period for choir was extended by 15 mins and choir started later. Practice was semi-effective, and i got a little pissed at one point. But anyways, speech day practice was screwed up because i had one attempt at conducting and i totally screwed it up -.- I even made crystal and siuyen laugh. Terrific, wonderful, marvelous, excellent. -.- Then went to Magic Wok with my friends to wait for my project partner to show up. In the end he freaking didn't come. So screw it. Was totally drained off my energy when i went home and i collapsed down on the bed and dozed off. Had a nightmare -.- Then had a phone call, and another as well as dinner up till now. I'm thinking of what to do, and i'm not producing any results :/ Sigh....
Thats my day. draggy and dull. Lack of life. What to expect?? -shrug- Well, guess thats it. At least i managed to think up 3 poems for Baby's birthday letters. Thats not bad, okay. Sorry for the screwed up post. Bye.
Baby i think i miss you more than how much time was taken by Mr Ngoi from our school to climb Mount Everest. :/ LOL, ya, i just miss you freaking a lot :/ Love you a lot too though :D <3 MUACKS!! :D
Long time since i posted, because i haven't got anything to say for the past few days. As usual, things are still horribly draggy .__. The holidays HAVE been draggy anyway. Its either choir, or homework, or reading books, or gaming. I haven't seen Baby for don't know how long lahhhhh urgh .__. I feel so love-sick damn it. :/ Ya but anyway, good thing is we still have phone calls so that is something good to look at? I guess... .__.
Yea and today was one of the better days in the span of this horrific holidays. I woke up at about 7 feeling extremely exhausted since i slept at freaking 2a.m last night.... I've been feeling shagged for don't know how many weeks now.... Then i went to bath, felt much better after that. Forced down a cold, semi-moist breakfast of bread with butter and sugar ( i didn't specify so my mum made that :/ ) and washed it down with hot tea ( that felt so good in the cold damp morning ). Got ready and set off for choir. The day didn't start off well because it was raining so heavily .__. It was practically pouring cats and dogs and i was drenched even before i reached school -.- Actually planned to meet with the SLs earlier to discuss some issues but turned out all of them were late due to the rain. Perfect plan shattered just like that. And i had to talk to Ms Lui about 'matters' that apparently after they heard me out they didn't have any concerns anymore. Cool huh? :P
The grace period for choir was extended by 15 mins and choir started later. Practice was semi-effective, and i got a little pissed at one point. But anyways, speech day practice was screwed up because i had one attempt at conducting and i totally screwed it up -.- I even made crystal and siuyen laugh. Terrific, wonderful, marvelous, excellent. -.- Then went to Magic Wok with my friends to wait for my project partner to show up. In the end he freaking didn't come. So screw it. Was totally drained off my energy when i went home and i collapsed down on the bed and dozed off. Had a nightmare -.- Then had a phone call, and another as well as dinner up till now. I'm thinking of what to do, and i'm not producing any results :/ Sigh....
Thats my day. draggy and dull. Lack of life. What to expect?? -shrug- Well, guess thats it. At least i managed to think up 3 poems for Baby's birthday letters. Thats not bad, okay. Sorry for the screwed up post. Bye.
Baby i think i miss you more than how much time was taken by Mr Ngoi from our school to climb Mount Everest. :/ LOL, ya, i just miss you freaking a lot :/ Love you a lot too though :D <3 MUACKS!! :D
22.6.10
I give up.
Why is it that it seems like you're taking the chances for granted?? Twice in a row you disappoint me about the same thing. Once about the same thing. I seriously don't get it. I give up trying to forgive you, i give up trying to give you chances, because you gravely disappointed me.
What makes it worst? I was slogging my ass off over a letter for 1 hour straight, I put in so much effort. And i cried over it badly, because i poured my emotions into it. I made it one of the most sincere/thoughtful letters i have ever written for you so far. How many have i written? Yet every new letter, i put in even more effort. Even if it doesn't come out as better, the effort was. I cried before, after and during the writing of the letter. And after i finish, i was contented, happy that i could give it to you. And what did i get before i even gave you the letter? Nonsense from you.
How is it that when i ask you, you can tell me you don't find anything wrong? I don't understand. If that is the way you see things, i give up trying to be patient with you already. Don't ever expect me to be happy or talk to you nicely, i give up seriously. You have shown me that you aren't worth the patience.
Farewell. And stop saying sorry and love you, because i don't think you really do.
What makes it worst? I was slogging my ass off over a letter for 1 hour straight, I put in so much effort. And i cried over it badly, because i poured my emotions into it. I made it one of the most sincere/thoughtful letters i have ever written for you so far. How many have i written? Yet every new letter, i put in even more effort. Even if it doesn't come out as better, the effort was. I cried before, after and during the writing of the letter. And after i finish, i was contented, happy that i could give it to you. And what did i get before i even gave you the letter? Nonsense from you.
How is it that when i ask you, you can tell me you don't find anything wrong? I don't understand. If that is the way you see things, i give up trying to be patient with you already. Don't ever expect me to be happy or talk to you nicely, i give up seriously. You have shown me that you aren't worth the patience.
Farewell. And stop saying sorry and love you, because i don't think you really do.
20.6.10
Dragging by....
Hello there (:
Posting is becoming quite boring to me since they really isn't much to post about when my holidays are like boring to the max :/ I guess i ain't one to make use of Holidays well, i don't take much initiative in self-arrangement of activities you see. I prefer to take part, not start up. Well, that works out for me i guess. But all the same, the holidays are also rather 'soul-sapping' considering the fact that my wife-to-be's ( i know you like this :P ) parents are SO marvelous in their approach to a 'wholesome' discipline for their daughter. On the contrary you self-righteous ass-faces, you're probably working your way into more rebellion from her. Good job there (: Unlike me, you don't appear to appeal to her.
Alright enough of the ridiculous draggy boasting and insulting :P Lets move on with life am i right? Like what i just did, take out my god-forsaken A math homework and just do 3 questions and stop. Life can't get any better really. And right now i'm waiting for my Baby's call, and i don't have a good feeling about it. Apparently that son-of-a-bitch and daughter-of-a-bastard must have came up with some convenient excuse to disallow Baby to call anymore. Screwed in the head really. And they also did not allow her to go for next week's Speech Day practices. WOW.
If not, thats all. I know this post was really draggy and 'insult-ish' but i guess i can't help it. Hate does marvelous things to one's usage of vocabulary as well as the context in which the words are utilised.
Bye.
I love you baby, sorry for this post. It wasn't really the best but its kinda funny since you hate your parents as well :P Oh, the ironies :P HAHA!! :D I LOVE YOU!!!! :D :D :D <3
Posting is becoming quite boring to me since they really isn't much to post about when my holidays are like boring to the max :/ I guess i ain't one to make use of Holidays well, i don't take much initiative in self-arrangement of activities you see. I prefer to take part, not start up. Well, that works out for me i guess. But all the same, the holidays are also rather 'soul-sapping' considering the fact that my wife-to-be's ( i know you like this :P ) parents are SO marvelous in their approach to a 'wholesome' discipline for their daughter. On the contrary you self-righteous ass-faces, you're probably working your way into more rebellion from her. Good job there (: Unlike me, you don't appear to appeal to her.
Alright enough of the ridiculous draggy boasting and insulting :P Lets move on with life am i right? Like what i just did, take out my god-forsaken A math homework and just do 3 questions and stop. Life can't get any better really. And right now i'm waiting for my Baby's call, and i don't have a good feeling about it. Apparently that son-of-a-bitch and daughter-of-a-bastard must have came up with some convenient excuse to disallow Baby to call anymore. Screwed in the head really. And they also did not allow her to go for next week's Speech Day practices. WOW.
If not, thats all. I know this post was really draggy and 'insult-ish' but i guess i can't help it. Hate does marvelous things to one's usage of vocabulary as well as the context in which the words are utilised.
Bye.
I love you baby, sorry for this post. It wasn't really the best but its kinda funny since you hate your parents as well :P Oh, the ironies :P HAHA!! :D I LOVE YOU!!!! :D :D :D <3
19.6.10
=/
I'm super tired.
Hey (: Just came back from a very long day. From 12.45-9.30 it was endless non stop singing lah gosh.... Well i started the day with a good phone call with Baby. I miss her so much lah damn it, my longing for her and my exhaustion now is just freaking horrible....
Not much to post, just want to update since its been some time. Yea so, cya soon, I don't anything else to say. Except to you, i love you (: ♥
Goodbye. Take care baby, i love you again. (: ♥
I love you so much baby, miss you.... :/ ♥♥♥
Hey (: Just came back from a very long day. From 12.45-9.30 it was endless non stop singing lah gosh.... Well i started the day with a good phone call with Baby. I miss her so much lah damn it, my longing for her and my exhaustion now is just freaking horrible....
Not much to post, just want to update since its been some time. Yea so, cya soon, I don't anything else to say. Except to you, i love you (: ♥
Goodbye. Take care baby, i love you again. (: ♥
I love you so much baby, miss you.... :/ ♥♥♥
17.6.10
16.6.10
15.6.10
Hmm....
Can the heart bear the pain that is to come? Or will it fall yet again? But for sure, would the happiness be its salvation in time.
Hello there :) Heh...woke up super late today, well its my well-deserved sleep since i haven't been sleeping well the past few days/nights ( whether or not willing! ) Yup haha! :D But it isn't really THAT good a sleep since i slept really late last night ( about 4.18am or so ) LOL. Yup but still, good start to the day (:
I actually woke up from my bed-rolling when Baby called me. Then we had quite a good talk and i was sad that she had to go because it was quite abrupt LOL. She was like, " oh shit i gotta go! " then she rushed off. :P But still, we talked about quite some interesting things. And i'm wondering if i should go on as planned and end up with 6 cards for her birthday or just make do with one..... Hmm, one card would be sweeter actually. And morever i spent like quite a big period of my night to do the card. Maybe i won't make 6 cards after all :D And the best present would be for her to spend time with me :D
Yup so i don't really know how my day is going to go. I hope nothing 'funny' happens to ruin my mood ( like again -.- ) and that the day will go smoothly . :D I really miss you so much baby and i hope i can go out with you soon..... :/ Yea, thats all for today. Bye.
And when thy strength be weakened, thou shalt give to thee thy salvation in love as thou deserves.
I love you so much baby, i hope you're fine as the days go by without me. I miss you so much, but i love you even more. (: ♥♥♥
Hello there :) Heh...woke up super late today, well its my well-deserved sleep since i haven't been sleeping well the past few days/nights ( whether or not willing! ) Yup haha! :D But it isn't really THAT good a sleep since i slept really late last night ( about 4.18am or so ) LOL. Yup but still, good start to the day (:
I actually woke up from my bed-rolling when Baby called me. Then we had quite a good talk and i was sad that she had to go because it was quite abrupt LOL. She was like, " oh shit i gotta go! " then she rushed off. :P But still, we talked about quite some interesting things. And i'm wondering if i should go on as planned and end up with 6 cards for her birthday or just make do with one..... Hmm, one card would be sweeter actually. And morever i spent like quite a big period of my night to do the card. Maybe i won't make 6 cards after all :D And the best present would be for her to spend time with me :D
Yup so i don't really know how my day is going to go. I hope nothing 'funny' happens to ruin my mood ( like again -.- ) and that the day will go smoothly . :D I really miss you so much baby and i hope i can go out with you soon..... :/ Yea, thats all for today. Bye.
And when thy strength be weakened, thou shalt give to thee thy salvation in love as thou deserves.
I love you so much baby, i hope you're fine as the days go by without me. I miss you so much, but i love you even more. (: ♥♥♥
14.6.10
Okay-ish :)
It was never my choice in the beginning, but rather something my actions made me become. No matter how much you refuse to agree to it, i suppose i cannot change my mindset so soon.
Today was okay. Not too bad, not too good either. Well, my recent days haven't been passing happily anyway. There still so much homework and project to be done. I think i'm doomed for my holiday assignments damn it.
But anyway, woke up kinda early for Voice Class. Mr Kuek said my voice was a little over-used. I guess its the rather strenuous choir practices i've been having. Well, i can't use that as an excuse as i discovered that there were singers who practiced for 6 hours daily. That is super retarded. But in anycase, i have to take care of my 'instrument'. Anything goes wrong with it and its byebye to my career. But nonetheless, Mr Kuek did say that my voice was good so yup.
Came back and waited until afternoon to call Baby. Wasn't really a happy talk since...the topic was not a happy one? Yea kinda. Rather depressing phone calls i've been having with her.... Ah, blame myself for the mindset i chose to have. -shrugs- Can't help it anyway.....
Then another phone call from her came in at night, yea that was a tiny little bit better. But still, all the same.
And i don't even know what i'm going to do now. Its either play/talk to friends/sleep/read book. I'll decide. My mood is just a little better because Baby will be calling tomorrow on her own. Kinda gives me the element of surprise. I prefer it that way. hahas.
If not, thats all for today, the post is rather draggy and disjointed which is probably the norm for all my blog posts so get used to it. Thats what makes my blog special. Self-egoistic differences..... Oh well, Bye for now :)
Oh, the tranquility of the night. Bestow unto my soul, to heaven, a peaceful flight.
I love you baby, i'm sorry you have to be here for me. Its not that i want payback because i was there for you or that i was super sweet to you or whatever but ya. I can't help it but think this way. I love you baby, so much. Thank you :) ♥♥♥
Today was okay. Not too bad, not too good either. Well, my recent days haven't been passing happily anyway. There still so much homework and project to be done. I think i'm doomed for my holiday assignments damn it.
But anyway, woke up kinda early for Voice Class. Mr Kuek said my voice was a little over-used. I guess its the rather strenuous choir practices i've been having. Well, i can't use that as an excuse as i discovered that there were singers who practiced for 6 hours daily. That is super retarded. But in anycase, i have to take care of my 'instrument'. Anything goes wrong with it and its byebye to my career. But nonetheless, Mr Kuek did say that my voice was good so yup.
Came back and waited until afternoon to call Baby. Wasn't really a happy talk since...the topic was not a happy one? Yea kinda. Rather depressing phone calls i've been having with her.... Ah, blame myself for the mindset i chose to have. -shrugs- Can't help it anyway.....
Then another phone call from her came in at night, yea that was a tiny little bit better. But still, all the same.
And i don't even know what i'm going to do now. Its either play/talk to friends/sleep/read book. I'll decide. My mood is just a little better because Baby will be calling tomorrow on her own. Kinda gives me the element of surprise. I prefer it that way. hahas.
If not, thats all for today, the post is rather draggy and disjointed which is probably the norm for all my blog posts so get used to it. Thats what makes my blog special. Self-egoistic differences..... Oh well, Bye for now :)
Oh, the tranquility of the night. Bestow unto my soul, to heaven, a peaceful flight.
I love you baby, i'm sorry you have to be here for me. Its not that i want payback because i was there for you or that i was super sweet to you or whatever but ya. I can't help it but think this way. I love you baby, so much. Thank you :) ♥♥♥
13.6.10
I'm Sorry.
Possessing the knowledge that i am the source of your pain is like holding a knife hilt with the blade in you, and with another edge in me.
I hate myself now ya know dear? It isn't your fault. Perhaps i thought tonight was, but maybe, truly, its mine. To think i was foolish enough to have even hung up on you. I shouldn't have been so particular, just because your attention diverted multiple times from an important topic. I was stupid, i was dumb, i was being a complete pain in the ass.
Yea i know, its been so many god damn times that i've been scolding myself. Badly. But you can't blame me for this at least, since i deserve it. Perhaps all i can do tonight is to sleep early as i promised you. Perhaps its all i can do to elevate your worries.
You're probably thinking you're a bitch for making me feel this way. But dear you're wrong alright? Initially it was maybe, but no its no longer yours. I just feel that i have been hurting the both of us for too many times. And i hate myself badly for it. I cannot tell you how much i feel like letting you go to end your suffering. But every time i want to you tell me to think through. And i remember how i made you smile so wide before, how i made you rejoice. I remember when i confessed to you, you were so happy. You smiled like i've never seen you smiled before. Never. Not with anyone else, not at any other time. And how could i possible bring myself to take all that away? I can't, i just can't. It would be heartless.
Dear i'm sorry, i know i haven't been the best. Despite how much you claim it, i know i haven't been able to do everything right. I know it isn't possible, but perhaps i have been doing a lot of wrong stuff. I'm sorry, i want to go you know? I want to leave you permanently. I want to end myself. Again. I'm not worth it and i'm sorry. I still love you but i can't even bring myself to do it properly. It hurts, and i'm crying such painful tears even as i post this. The torment i feel is horrendous and its wrenching right at my heart.
I'm sorry, but maybe i wasn't meant to be. I love you, no matter what happens, to me or to you. If ever i have to go, don't be sad, because like i said. Perhaps i wasn't meant to be.
I love you, the best i'll ever have....(:
I hate myself now ya know dear? It isn't your fault. Perhaps i thought tonight was, but maybe, truly, its mine. To think i was foolish enough to have even hung up on you. I shouldn't have been so particular, just because your attention diverted multiple times from an important topic. I was stupid, i was dumb, i was being a complete pain in the ass.
Yea i know, its been so many god damn times that i've been scolding myself. Badly. But you can't blame me for this at least, since i deserve it. Perhaps all i can do tonight is to sleep early as i promised you. Perhaps its all i can do to elevate your worries.
You're probably thinking you're a bitch for making me feel this way. But dear you're wrong alright? Initially it was maybe, but no its no longer yours. I just feel that i have been hurting the both of us for too many times. And i hate myself badly for it. I cannot tell you how much i feel like letting you go to end your suffering. But every time i want to you tell me to think through. And i remember how i made you smile so wide before, how i made you rejoice. I remember when i confessed to you, you were so happy. You smiled like i've never seen you smiled before. Never. Not with anyone else, not at any other time. And how could i possible bring myself to take all that away? I can't, i just can't. It would be heartless.
Dear i'm sorry, i know i haven't been the best. Despite how much you claim it, i know i haven't been able to do everything right. I know it isn't possible, but perhaps i have been doing a lot of wrong stuff. I'm sorry, i want to go you know? I want to leave you permanently. I want to end myself. Again. I'm not worth it and i'm sorry. I still love you but i can't even bring myself to do it properly. It hurts, and i'm crying such painful tears even as i post this. The torment i feel is horrendous and its wrenching right at my heart.
I'm sorry, but maybe i wasn't meant to be. I love you, no matter what happens, to me or to you. If ever i have to go, don't be sad, because like i said. Perhaps i wasn't meant to be.
I love you, the best i'll ever have....(:
Time to start work ):
I wouldn't want you any other way (: <3
Hello peoplezzxc :D Today was kinda great although it was very tiring... ): Partly because i slept late last night ( like fragging 3a.m ?!? ) haha :P BUT still, it was tiring (:
Yup so, woke up at about 10.30?? And started getting prepared for Vocal Consort practices. I got delayed though and i thought i was going to be late. Turns out that there were many other people later than me so i was 'excused' from being late :P HAHA :D Then we went through Choreo for the up-coming concert ( which was freaking hilarious!! LOL :P ) and did a tech run before leaving. OH YA! A costume check too!! But i didn't bring my shoes so i looked like a china man -.-!! Wearing slippers with full performance attire HAHA :P
Reached home at around 5+ or so and i decided to call Baby. Turns out she wasn't home and because i got Jun Wei to help me he ended up having to talk to her mum. And as usual, she started bitching her ass off about me and Baby. Seriously man, i know whatever you said and again its just a whole load of ridiculous, self appraising, pompous junk of self-righteous bullshit. I'm just saying -shrugs-
But in anycase, she'll be getting back to me later so i have something to look forward to :D If not, thats it for today (:
BYE! :D
I love you so much baby, nothing will seperate us :D :D :D <3
Hello peoplezzxc :D Today was kinda great although it was very tiring... ): Partly because i slept late last night ( like fragging 3a.m ?!? ) haha :P BUT still, it was tiring (:
Yup so, woke up at about 10.30?? And started getting prepared for Vocal Consort practices. I got delayed though and i thought i was going to be late. Turns out that there were many other people later than me so i was 'excused' from being late :P HAHA :D Then we went through Choreo for the up-coming concert ( which was freaking hilarious!! LOL :P ) and did a tech run before leaving. OH YA! A costume check too!! But i didn't bring my shoes so i looked like a china man -.-!! Wearing slippers with full performance attire HAHA :P
Reached home at around 5+ or so and i decided to call Baby. Turns out she wasn't home and because i got Jun Wei to help me he ended up having to talk to her mum. And as usual, she started bitching her ass off about me and Baby. Seriously man, i know whatever you said and again its just a whole load of ridiculous, self appraising, pompous junk of self-righteous bullshit. I'm just saying -shrugs-
But in anycase, she'll be getting back to me later so i have something to look forward to :D If not, thats it for today (:
BYE! :D
I love you so much baby, nothing will seperate us :D :D :D <3
12.6.10
Fuck you understand, fuck you.
Ya so what now? Restrict us until like that still not enough is it?? I knew something bad was going to happen i had a premonition. Must you go to the extent of making her delete me from facebook?? And msn?? Its already BAD enough that we can't even call.
So what if you're her mum? Parents aren't dictators let me tell you. You can't expect your daughter to follow every thing you say understand? She is already obedient and submissive enough. For all the times you 'HAD' to talk to me on the phone, i was controlling my temper JUST TO LET YOU KNOW. If you think i didn't intend to be hostile to you, i DID.
You have NO right to dictate WHO she wants to be with and WHEN she wants it to happen. You have NO right to tell her WHAT to do and HOW to do it. You have NO right to DICTATE. understand!? Don't think you're all damn righteous and noble and you can do whatever you want. If you think she is distracted by me, THINK AGAIN. understand? Because its what YOU'RE doing that is distracting HER. so FUCK YOU. okay?
And Last point. If you think i'm controlling your daughter or that i'm too physical with her, let me put this straight to you. She is a willing party, thats it. Simple. She can choose to just plainly rebel into your face without giving a damn to you okay? But she isn't doing that. The only person who appreciates her is me, i doubt you do. I doubt you, HER MUM, does. Fuck you.
So what if you're her mum? Parents aren't dictators let me tell you. You can't expect your daughter to follow every thing you say understand? She is already obedient and submissive enough. For all the times you 'HAD' to talk to me on the phone, i was controlling my temper JUST TO LET YOU KNOW. If you think i didn't intend to be hostile to you, i DID.
You have NO right to dictate WHO she wants to be with and WHEN she wants it to happen. You have NO right to tell her WHAT to do and HOW to do it. You have NO right to DICTATE. understand!? Don't think you're all damn righteous and noble and you can do whatever you want. If you think she is distracted by me, THINK AGAIN. understand? Because its what YOU'RE doing that is distracting HER. so FUCK YOU. okay?
And Last point. If you think i'm controlling your daughter or that i'm too physical with her, let me put this straight to you. She is a willing party, thats it. Simple. She can choose to just plainly rebel into your face without giving a damn to you okay? But she isn't doing that. The only person who appreciates her is me, i doubt you do. I doubt you, HER MUM, does. Fuck you.
11.6.10
Limit.
I smiled as you walked away, relieved that i managed to cheer you up before you went off after your first break. Eagerly, i waited at the benches while texting you. I was very happy, really very happy. Even though i knew that it was our last meeting, i was very happy. At least, i thought i could spend it happily with you.
Then you came, and you gave an expression of shock. I spun around to see what you were gaping at. Your mum's car. She was in school. You immediately went off and i rushed to the toilet. I kept my cool throughout the process of escaping. But when i was out of school, i blew my top. The air around me shifted. I was no longer bothering to stay happy. I let anger and frustration take over me. It was overwhelming. I clenching my fists and biting my jaw together. I walked with heavy stomps and my head was so heavily laden with emotions i couldn't lift it up to see the world that sucked in front of my eyes.
I told my mum to hurry up and i waited for her at the TKGS bus stop. I was mad, i couldn't take it. I couldn't believe that our last day just got ruined like that. And yet i couldn't understand why you could take it so lightly. It was our fucking last day, and we wanted it happy. Now this. It wasn't the same as the other problems we had. Yet you compare, what is wrong with you? I made a guess. Perhaps, in our eyes, we don't carry the same level of importance.
I shed my tears from the inside and the outside. There was nothing i could do to mend the broken heart within me. I was long gone.
Then you came, and you gave an expression of shock. I spun around to see what you were gaping at. Your mum's car. She was in school. You immediately went off and i rushed to the toilet. I kept my cool throughout the process of escaping. But when i was out of school, i blew my top. The air around me shifted. I was no longer bothering to stay happy. I let anger and frustration take over me. It was overwhelming. I clenching my fists and biting my jaw together. I walked with heavy stomps and my head was so heavily laden with emotions i couldn't lift it up to see the world that sucked in front of my eyes.
I told my mum to hurry up and i waited for her at the TKGS bus stop. I was mad, i couldn't take it. I couldn't believe that our last day just got ruined like that. And yet i couldn't understand why you could take it so lightly. It was our fucking last day, and we wanted it happy. Now this. It wasn't the same as the other problems we had. Yet you compare, what is wrong with you? I made a guess. Perhaps, in our eyes, we don't carry the same level of importance.
I shed my tears from the inside and the outside. There was nothing i could do to mend the broken heart within me. I was long gone.
9.6.10
Another piece of my thoughts (:
An empty sorrow filled my heart. I watched her walk back to class as I leaned against the pillar. Did today have to end so soon? I wished it didn't have to. I turned sadly and walked out of school with heavy steps as I hung my head down, deep in thought. The sky was covered by an ominous roof of grey clouds, draping the Earth with a dark depressing atmosphere. A chilling breeze swept across me, causing shivers to run up my whole body. It was an eerie sensation, and coupled with the longing within me, I knew I wasn't going to have a pleasant trip home. I kept thinking of her, my heart felt wrenched out. The sky was about to pour, and I cursed the weather for putting the odds against me.
I worried non stop, and I couldn't stop looking back at where we just met. It was so sweet, so happy. But now she had to go, and I was crying from the inside. I kept walking, until the bus stop was in sight. A light drizzle had began to pat down onto the concrete pavement with small sounds that distracted my thoughts. I listened to the dripping, and it calmed my emotions. It was particularly tranquil. I sat down at the bus stop and observed the droplets raining from the sky. " I hope she is fine now.... I wish I could see her once more.... " I thought with much sorrow. Several cars zoomed must, splashing water against the sides as its engines roared across the road in a much repeated fashion. I watched the cars one by one to take my mind off the longing burden. This made me dizzy after awhile and I tore my eyes away from the cars just in time to see bus 33 coming along. I stood up in an awkward fashion, tilting to one side like a drunkard.
Fishing out my wallet from my bag, i stepped up the bus reluctantly. I threw a glance over my shoulder once more to take a last look at the school before i stepped up with haste. The grumpy bus driver was hurling insults at my lack of speed I could tell, but I couldn't be bothered. Proceeding to the back of the bus, I sat down on one of the cold cushioned seats and looked out of the window. My eyes, I could see in the limited reflection of the bus window, contained the expression of a man who just lost love.
Clutching my chest tightly, I closed my eyes to drift away into a peaceful land, escaping reality for that one moment. I knew I was alone, I knew I was afraid, I knew she was gone.
Exaggerated but slightly similar to how i felt just now (: It just feels that way, knowing that i won't be able to see nor talk to her much so soon yet.... feels horrible. Haha. Well, thats how i feel now so yup guess i just wanted to express it (: Hope you got taken away! :P Bye! (:
I worried non stop, and I couldn't stop looking back at where we just met. It was so sweet, so happy. But now she had to go, and I was crying from the inside. I kept walking, until the bus stop was in sight. A light drizzle had began to pat down onto the concrete pavement with small sounds that distracted my thoughts. I listened to the dripping, and it calmed my emotions. It was particularly tranquil. I sat down at the bus stop and observed the droplets raining from the sky. " I hope she is fine now.... I wish I could see her once more.... " I thought with much sorrow. Several cars zoomed must, splashing water against the sides as its engines roared across the road in a much repeated fashion. I watched the cars one by one to take my mind off the longing burden. This made me dizzy after awhile and I tore my eyes away from the cars just in time to see bus 33 coming along. I stood up in an awkward fashion, tilting to one side like a drunkard.
Fishing out my wallet from my bag, i stepped up the bus reluctantly. I threw a glance over my shoulder once more to take a last look at the school before i stepped up with haste. The grumpy bus driver was hurling insults at my lack of speed I could tell, but I couldn't be bothered. Proceeding to the back of the bus, I sat down on one of the cold cushioned seats and looked out of the window. My eyes, I could see in the limited reflection of the bus window, contained the expression of a man who just lost love.
Clutching my chest tightly, I closed my eyes to drift away into a peaceful land, escaping reality for that one moment. I knew I was alone, I knew I was afraid, I knew she was gone.
Exaggerated but slightly similar to how i felt just now (: It just feels that way, knowing that i won't be able to see nor talk to her much so soon yet.... feels horrible. Haha. Well, thats how i feel now so yup guess i just wanted to express it (: Hope you got taken away! :P Bye! (:
Stable or not?
I miss you, i tell myself not to but i still do. I stayed happy for you, but my heart felt like it was wrenched out again as i walked away from school knowing that tomorrow would be the last day i would be able to see you....
Hello people (: Today was kinda great actually, despite the start of this post being so emo i supposed its natural given how things are right now. (:
I took a trip down to school to meet Baby during her 2 breaks. It turned out pretty desirable and smooth except for this screwed up security guard who kept hanging around for nothing. Like wtf, he saw me leaning on her shoulder for a split second and he got so damn interested in the 2 of us. No life much, i hate him now man omg. And he makes weird noises out of nothing-ness like W.T.F please -.-!!
But in anycase, I was really worried for Baby although i still continued to smile (: I guess i was thinking about how tired she looked. Baby i'm going to pray for your health to be okay while this goes on. I'm hoping you won't break down because of stress and all, i love you (: <3
But if not, i might or might not be posting again tonight pending on my mood i guess. Byez (:
I want this to be over, i want us to be together. (: <3
I love you baby, <3 :) If you don't get what the last sentence means its just saying for this horrible situation to be over soon and for us to have time to spend together nicely again (: I love you so much baby, i love you (: <3
Hello people (: Today was kinda great actually, despite the start of this post being so emo i supposed its natural given how things are right now. (:
I took a trip down to school to meet Baby during her 2 breaks. It turned out pretty desirable and smooth except for this screwed up security guard who kept hanging around for nothing. Like wtf, he saw me leaning on her shoulder for a split second and he got so damn interested in the 2 of us. No life much, i hate him now man omg. And he makes weird noises out of nothing-ness like W.T.F please -.-!!
But in anycase, I was really worried for Baby although i still continued to smile (: I guess i was thinking about how tired she looked. Baby i'm going to pray for your health to be okay while this goes on. I'm hoping you won't break down because of stress and all, i love you (: <3
But if not, i might or might not be posting again tonight pending on my mood i guess. Byez (:
I want this to be over, i want us to be together. (: <3
I love you baby, <3 :) If you don't get what the last sentence means its just saying for this horrible situation to be over soon and for us to have time to spend together nicely again (: I love you so much baby, i love you (: <3
Missing you bad bad bad ): ): ):
Staying happy isn't something as easy as it looks when said, its an action that requires strength from within. (:
Hello peopleeeee :D Again :P I managed to resolve the problem that occured in my house just now in the afternoon. :D Yup, but i still want to talk to my Dad later....or perhaps some other day luh. (:
So anyways, i have been slacking big time from just now until now..... :/ I still haven't done much of my Holiday homework :P LOL. I think i'm so dead luh this holidays gosh :/ But anyways, i don't let that affect me too much. Rather, i miss you so much... =/
Sigh, its been so long since i seen Baby or talked to her...... I want to see her, i miss you so much :/
I might be posting again later, or not. (:
Goodbye, and i love you (: <3
Baby i really miss you a lot, but i love you as much :D <3
Hello peopleeeee :D Again :P I managed to resolve the problem that occured in my house just now in the afternoon. :D Yup, but i still want to talk to my Dad later....or perhaps some other day luh. (:
So anyways, i have been slacking big time from just now until now..... :/ I still haven't done much of my Holiday homework :P LOL. I think i'm so dead luh this holidays gosh :/ But anyways, i don't let that affect me too much. Rather, i miss you so much... =/
Sigh, its been so long since i seen Baby or talked to her...... I want to see her, i miss you so much :/
I might be posting again later, or not. (:
Goodbye, and i love you (: <3
Baby i really miss you a lot, but i love you as much :D <3
8.6.10
Awesome Effort :P
Your smiles make my day :D
Hello there :D Today was great haha :D Had an awesomely long and good chat conversation via text with my baby ( she used her friend's cell ) :D Yup, i was like SUPER happy that we both were happy after that ;D I'm going to stay happy, cause we are going to do this together and once its over we will be able to do things as per normal again :D
First thing i did when i went downstairs was to check on my com stuff and update them LOL. Right now i have to manage like my blog and 3 facebook accounts and 2 msn accounts -.- They aren't necessarily all mine :P One of the facebook accounts is Baby's LOL. So i did that while eating biscuits and drinking milo, i was waiting for my Baby :D And OMG RWJ'S newest video is like FRAGGING funny it CRACKED me up LOL.
Yea, not many things happened today yet. So i guess i shan't post much. But in anycase there ARE stuff bugging me, family issues. :/ I wish all this disharmony can stop. My chapter has ended, and more come like in less than a week. If this goes on, our family will break apart.
And you mummy, have to understand that no one can be totally exempted from fault. You cannot say that you're not at fault or that you didn't do anything wrong. Yes i admit the others were fucking rude, but you should at least understand that perhaps you coulda just let Daddy go and buy the Roti Prata back for them and stop the issue THERE. But you insisted that he didn't go. Then you accuse him saying that he is trying to stir more trouble when he ask me to stop the problem. I know why you are feeling like this, but to make life easier for you, don't be so stubborn and just let him solve it if he wants to. You're making more things point towards you like this. I hope you see problems with a different perspective. Everyone was at fault today ( everyone in the problem ). Nobody is perfect, not even. babies. I love you as a family, and i don't want to have to shout at you to make you understand.
Goodbye.
Hello there :D Today was great haha :D Had an awesomely long and good chat conversation via text with my baby ( she used her friend's cell ) :D Yup, i was like SUPER happy that we both were happy after that ;D I'm going to stay happy, cause we are going to do this together and once its over we will be able to do things as per normal again :D
First thing i did when i went downstairs was to check on my com stuff and update them LOL. Right now i have to manage like my blog and 3 facebook accounts and 2 msn accounts -.- They aren't necessarily all mine :P One of the facebook accounts is Baby's LOL. So i did that while eating biscuits and drinking milo, i was waiting for my Baby :D And OMG RWJ'S newest video is like FRAGGING funny it CRACKED me up LOL.
Yea, not many things happened today yet. So i guess i shan't post much. But in anycase there ARE stuff bugging me, family issues. :/ I wish all this disharmony can stop. My chapter has ended, and more come like in less than a week. If this goes on, our family will break apart.
And you mummy, have to understand that no one can be totally exempted from fault. You cannot say that you're not at fault or that you didn't do anything wrong. Yes i admit the others were fucking rude, but you should at least understand that perhaps you coulda just let Daddy go and buy the Roti Prata back for them and stop the issue THERE. But you insisted that he didn't go. Then you accuse him saying that he is trying to stir more trouble when he ask me to stop the problem. I know why you are feeling like this, but to make life easier for you, don't be so stubborn and just let him solve it if he wants to. You're making more things point towards you like this. I hope you see problems with a different perspective. Everyone was at fault today ( everyone in the problem ). Nobody is perfect, not even. babies. I love you as a family, and i don't want to have to shout at you to make you understand.
Goodbye.
To love you (:
When i do think over it, i realise perhaps i should be happy for you. (:
I know you're using your friend's iTouch or iPhone to read thissss. :D DON'T laugh retardedly uh you naughty babyy :D Hahahas, i miss you so much ya know??? ): I hope you're okay baby, i really hope you are. Because this is the last time i'm going to cheer up and then get down again. I was quite messed up last night but i'm perfectly fine now, Just want to type for you something to read to make you happy ;D Enjoy (: <3
I close my eyes to sleep, dreaming about you,
That wondrous beauty, always appearing to me,
One look at you brings smiles to my face, and your voice brings joys to my ears,
This experience you have given me was the sweetest, most exciting thing i have ever had.
Despite everything we have been through and have to be through, i still can bring myself to smile for you.
Baby you are a miracle, and the best thing that has ever happened to me.
No matter how cliche your words are to me or my words are to you, it just gets sweeter and sweeter.
I cannot express how much i love you really, i try so hard with stuff like that but it doesn't work.
I love you so much, i really love you so much. And i never want to let you go.
I will do whatever it takes to be with you, because theres is really nothing else i would wish for.
I love you so much, i cannot say.
I love you so much, nothing else matters.
I love you so much, my happiness is you.
I love you so much, my other half is you.
I love you so much, my heart and soul are yours.
I love you so much, i just do. (:
We will do this together, like you said. I'm your pillar of strength remember? I will be your pillar, not the other way around. I will be your pillar, i swear. I love you, so much. (: <3
ENJOY TRUNCATED!!!! :P :P :P :P
I hold your hand and smile into your eyes, kissing you on the lips as i do so. I bring you into a warm embrace, and comfort you with my gentle hands and soothing voice. I will love you for eternity, my dearest, most sweetest, darling i will ever love, my baby (: <3
I know you're using your friend's iTouch or iPhone to read thissss. :D DON'T laugh retardedly uh you naughty babyy :D Hahahas, i miss you so much ya know??? ): I hope you're okay baby, i really hope you are. Because this is the last time i'm going to cheer up and then get down again. I was quite messed up last night but i'm perfectly fine now, Just want to type for you something to read to make you happy ;D Enjoy (: <3
I close my eyes to sleep, dreaming about you,
That wondrous beauty, always appearing to me,
One look at you brings smiles to my face, and your voice brings joys to my ears,
This experience you have given me was the sweetest, most exciting thing i have ever had.
Despite everything we have been through and have to be through, i still can bring myself to smile for you.
Baby you are a miracle, and the best thing that has ever happened to me.
No matter how cliche your words are to me or my words are to you, it just gets sweeter and sweeter.
I cannot express how much i love you really, i try so hard with stuff like that but it doesn't work.
I love you so much, i really love you so much. And i never want to let you go.
I will do whatever it takes to be with you, because theres is really nothing else i would wish for.
I love you so much, i cannot say.
I love you so much, nothing else matters.
I love you so much, my happiness is you.
I love you so much, my other half is you.
I love you so much, my heart and soul are yours.
I love you so much, i just do. (:
We will do this together, like you said. I'm your pillar of strength remember? I will be your pillar, not the other way around. I will be your pillar, i swear. I love you, so much. (: <3
ENJOY TRUNCATED!!!! :P :P :P :P
I hold your hand and smile into your eyes, kissing you on the lips as i do so. I bring you into a warm embrace, and comfort you with my gentle hands and soothing voice. I will love you for eternity, my dearest, most sweetest, darling i will ever love, my baby (: <3
Quizzical Day. (:
To be with you, there is nothing i won't do (:
Hello peoplezzz :D Today was kinda 'weird'. The start was kinda ruined by some bad news from Baby hahas, but then everything calmed down at the end at about 2.30+ ?? :D Yup so after that was great luhhh :D
Although me and Baby could only communicate through text and hopefully on the phone, we stayed happy for each other lah :D Its kinda sad tho, the sweet reality we are denied off. I felt like she was torn apart from me. In fact, i had premonitions and visions before. I kept having terrible nightmares ( not joking ) of her sitting in one corner of the classroom. I would be looking at her from another corner and we would be smiling. Then all of a sudden, the class would start shaking and i would see her being pulled away out of the classroom by something i can't see. I perceived it to be parents/fate/events in the future. It was really sad, i always ended up jumping up when she was gone and sweating like mad. Then i would feel like crying. Well, it did happened. But then it isn't something we can change with action but to let it change with time so i guess we just have to wait it out (:
And baby, i understand how hard it has been on you. You need not tell me it was, because i'm sure you know that i know. I'm terribly sorry for making you go through all this and sometimes even leaving you in the lurch by not being understanding enough. I tried my best, sometimes i just can't do it. But i promised you i would am i right?(: Which is why you see me so happy now, because i'm smiling for you my Baby. And it doesn't matter what else happens, to be with you, i would do anything. I would give anything. I know i said i wanted it, but no materialistic gift is as important as you. Being with you forever would be like giving me everything i would ever need :D Baby, you are the other half of my heart and soul, and i would never want anything else but that. So i say, I love you :D <3
Nothing will stop us (: <3 I will be with you, i will marry you, i will love you forever (: <3
Hello peoplezzz :D Today was kinda 'weird'. The start was kinda ruined by some bad news from Baby hahas, but then everything calmed down at the end at about 2.30+ ?? :D Yup so after that was great luhhh :D
Although me and Baby could only communicate through text and hopefully on the phone, we stayed happy for each other lah :D Its kinda sad tho, the sweet reality we are denied off. I felt like she was torn apart from me. In fact, i had premonitions and visions before. I kept having terrible nightmares ( not joking ) of her sitting in one corner of the classroom. I would be looking at her from another corner and we would be smiling. Then all of a sudden, the class would start shaking and i would see her being pulled away out of the classroom by something i can't see. I perceived it to be parents/fate/events in the future. It was really sad, i always ended up jumping up when she was gone and sweating like mad. Then i would feel like crying. Well, it did happened. But then it isn't something we can change with action but to let it change with time so i guess we just have to wait it out (:
And baby, i understand how hard it has been on you. You need not tell me it was, because i'm sure you know that i know. I'm terribly sorry for making you go through all this and sometimes even leaving you in the lurch by not being understanding enough. I tried my best, sometimes i just can't do it. But i promised you i would am i right?(: Which is why you see me so happy now, because i'm smiling for you my Baby. And it doesn't matter what else happens, to be with you, i would do anything. I would give anything. I know i said i wanted it, but no materialistic gift is as important as you. Being with you forever would be like giving me everything i would ever need :D Baby, you are the other half of my heart and soul, and i would never want anything else but that. So i say, I love you :D <3
Nothing will stop us (: <3 I will be with you, i will marry you, i will love you forever (: <3
7.6.10
Just something to admire :D
Here is something that i felt like writing (:
The familiar roar of thunder resounded in the room, making me jump up in an unpleasant shock. I scanned my surroundings with blurry and sleepy eyes, turning my head left to right like a rotating fan. The clock caught my attention first. "5a.m in the morning, great, " I grumbled to myself as i pushed my lazy body up to a sitting position. My muscles were aching all over and it felt absolutely horrendous just sitting up. " Napfa must be a compulsory punishment that everyone goes through, " I murmered sourly as i recalled the terrible physical test I had to undergo yesterday. As I shifted my legs off the bed and onto the ground, I felt another painful sensation rush up my thighs. Apparently it was crammed up and thus 'voicing' its objections to any further movement. I grimaced in pain as i forced it to obey my orders. Still bearing the pain, I got up from bed unwillingly and limped in an awkward fashion to the bathroom to wash up. " I hate school and the morning calls that come with it, " I thought bitterly to myself. I took one glance over my shoulder at the window, observing the pitter-patter droplets of rain that seemed to dance on the panes. As I was a particularly sensitive teenager, I felt like the rain was mocking me saying, " Bet you love the mornings don't you? Full of action and non-stop shocks. You should thank me! " I turned away with a look of plain disgust and proceeded to the toilet. Here on heralds the start of yet another dreadful day in the dead rushed city of Singapore. Life really doesn't get any worse than this.
Find that familiar? :D Imagine your mornings like that! How screwed up right!! :D Just a penny of my thoughts (: Hope you enjoyed (:
Bye!! :D
This is how i scored awesome-ly for my essays baby!! :D LOVE YOU!!! :D:D <3
The familiar roar of thunder resounded in the room, making me jump up in an unpleasant shock. I scanned my surroundings with blurry and sleepy eyes, turning my head left to right like a rotating fan. The clock caught my attention first. "5a.m in the morning, great, " I grumbled to myself as i pushed my lazy body up to a sitting position. My muscles were aching all over and it felt absolutely horrendous just sitting up. " Napfa must be a compulsory punishment that everyone goes through, " I murmered sourly as i recalled the terrible physical test I had to undergo yesterday. As I shifted my legs off the bed and onto the ground, I felt another painful sensation rush up my thighs. Apparently it was crammed up and thus 'voicing' its objections to any further movement. I grimaced in pain as i forced it to obey my orders. Still bearing the pain, I got up from bed unwillingly and limped in an awkward fashion to the bathroom to wash up. " I hate school and the morning calls that come with it, " I thought bitterly to myself. I took one glance over my shoulder at the window, observing the pitter-patter droplets of rain that seemed to dance on the panes. As I was a particularly sensitive teenager, I felt like the rain was mocking me saying, " Bet you love the mornings don't you? Full of action and non-stop shocks. You should thank me! " I turned away with a look of plain disgust and proceeded to the toilet. Here on heralds the start of yet another dreadful day in the dead rushed city of Singapore. Life really doesn't get any worse than this.
Find that familiar? :D Imagine your mornings like that! How screwed up right!! :D Just a penny of my thoughts (: Hope you enjoyed (:
Bye!! :D
This is how i scored awesome-ly for my essays baby!! :D LOVE YOU!!! :D:D <3
6.6.10
I feel GOOD :D
Hello!! :D
Today was marvellous, better than i expected hahas :D Woke up feeling pretty horrible thinking of all the stuff that have happened. :P So i texted Andrew to ask if he is awake and he said yea....then i told him i was afraid the sec1s wouldn't come. So we were already pretty edgy about that matter. But still, we went ahead as planned :D
They did come but not all, although the practice was still really fun and we really created rapport with the juniors which was a fantastic thing :D They all love us now!! :P HAHAHA :D
And some bad stuff happened on Baby's family so i had to stay strong for her which made her super happy :D I cheered her up big time luh HAHA :D:D Hope she is fine now i'm going to call her later!! :D
Kay this post is pretty lame since i'm so distracted :P
Bye for now! :D
Baby i really love you so much, don't keep on thanking me and look at the post about the shopping one again, see the labels :P I love you!!! :D:D Can't wait for you to suck my dick!! :P HAHAHA :D And to just have so much fun on Wednesday!! :D:D SEE YOU AND LOVE YOUUU!!! :D:D:D <3
Today was marvellous, better than i expected hahas :D Woke up feeling pretty horrible thinking of all the stuff that have happened. :P So i texted Andrew to ask if he is awake and he said yea....then i told him i was afraid the sec1s wouldn't come. So we were already pretty edgy about that matter. But still, we went ahead as planned :D
They did come but not all, although the practice was still really fun and we really created rapport with the juniors which was a fantastic thing :D They all love us now!! :P HAHAHA :D
And some bad stuff happened on Baby's family so i had to stay strong for her which made her super happy :D I cheered her up big time luh HAHA :D:D Hope she is fine now i'm going to call her later!! :D
Kay this post is pretty lame since i'm so distracted :P
Bye for now! :D
Baby i really love you so much, don't keep on thanking me and look at the post about the shopping one again, see the labels :P I love you!!! :D:D Can't wait for you to suck my dick!! :P HAHAHA :D And to just have so much fun on Wednesday!! :D:D SEE YOU AND LOVE YOUUU!!! :D:D:D <3
5.6.10
Not bad (:
Hello (:
Its been a long time since i saw you smile, and i just love the plain sight of it. (: No, to be accurate it isn't plain :D
But anyways, today was kinda great i think (: I went for choir practice, reaching school about 9+ to wait for choir to start AND to wait for Baby to reach school :D Only met her for a short while before choir started though, then had to conduct warm-ups for the choir. It was kinda screwed up because they couldn't apply the stuff we taught them. And for another external factor. But it isn't worth mentioning. Choir was much more fun than usual because Baby sat in to watch :D
So we met a little while more after choir before i went off with Ridhwan for TVC practice. ( hes a freaking awesome friend :D ). I managed to sweet-talk Baby to change her mind about something ^^ LOL. :P Now shes so excited rightt?? :P But Baby you looked a little sad that i had to go..... cheer up soon (: <3
TVC practice was more teaching for me -.- !!! And then we had to endure the painful and draggy repetition of Organ Fugue damn it -.-!!! Oh well, guess TVC was kinda fun + hurt. LOL.
If not, going to call my Baby soon :D Can't wait mannzzz!!!! <3
Bye!! :D
Baby today was awesome alright!!! :D I didn't flare up :P HAHA. :D And i think you should stop smacking/poking other males leh.....not only because of me but for the sake of your impression. You really look flirtish by doing that (: If not, I LOVE YOU!!!! :D <3
Its been a long time since i saw you smile, and i just love the plain sight of it. (: No, to be accurate it isn't plain :D
But anyways, today was kinda great i think (: I went for choir practice, reaching school about 9+ to wait for choir to start AND to wait for Baby to reach school :D Only met her for a short while before choir started though, then had to conduct warm-ups for the choir. It was kinda screwed up because they couldn't apply the stuff we taught them. And for another external factor. But it isn't worth mentioning. Choir was much more fun than usual because Baby sat in to watch :D
So we met a little while more after choir before i went off with Ridhwan for TVC practice. ( hes a freaking awesome friend :D ). I managed to sweet-talk Baby to change her mind about something ^^ LOL. :P Now shes so excited rightt?? :P But Baby you looked a little sad that i had to go..... cheer up soon (: <3
TVC practice was more teaching for me -.- !!! And then we had to endure the painful and draggy repetition of Organ Fugue damn it -.-!!! Oh well, guess TVC was kinda fun + hurt. LOL.
If not, going to call my Baby soon :D Can't wait mannzzz!!!! <3
Bye!! :D
Baby today was awesome alright!!! :D I didn't flare up :P HAHA. :D And i think you should stop smacking/poking other males leh.....not only because of me but for the sake of your impression. You really look flirtish by doing that (: If not, I LOVE YOU!!!! :D <3
4.6.10
Baby, for you (:
I almost forgot about this (:
Hey, sweetie.
Happy 10th week, a long one i believe? (: I hope you're fine, since for the past few days i'v been praying for your safety and health. I'v been really worried ya know? Despite all the quarreling and anger etc. I put everything aside to make sure you're fine at some points of time.
You know what? I just want to say i'm really sorry. You know for what, the best. (: Sometimes the problems were trivial, sometimes they were kinda major, but big or small, i still feel like an asshole for hurting you because of them. You might say you ain't any different since you hurt me, but i don't agree. Perhaps, it was within myself, that lied the issue. Maybe i didn't give you enough time? I don't know, or maybe it lied with you, that you just couldn't get it.
Maybe i didn't consider the issue of you being single for a period of time thus losing the feel of being attached. I find, that is where, your problem lies. You forget whenever you're out of my side. You just do stuff like as if you are not attached to some one and then you hurt me. Even today after Novia spoke to you, you blatantly did it. I no longer want to hurt you, but maybe just tell you how i feel, and hope you can change if i patiently reminding you.
Whether or not this method will work, i think its hugely up to you. But i'm not completely devoid of fault as well. You might say i was a little too particular? Or perhaps i didn't respect your choice of leading your life, but hey. Look at it this way alright? From the moment we got together, has it been my choice of life? Or your choice of life? To love is to give, and commitment includes getting used to living life as if the 2 of us share one common entity in reality. To love is also to change, not just so that its sufficient. but change whenever you know you made a mistake. To love is something huge, and not something you can do half-way and expect the other side to accept that. To love, is simply, to give a lot.
Perhaps you cannot, and not everyone can easily. For me example, i changed when i was young. Really young, And i didn't take long. Some saw the change, some saw it a little too late. But either way, i still did. And i know, because people tell me. But there are others, who after a lifetime, still were not able to change. Would you be one of the latter? I do not know. But then what i can say is that it isn't impossible. And those people did not have love. Remember, you ain't changing because i'm telling you to. You're changing for my sake, and because you love me. I'm not twisting my words, but clarifying them for you.
A sorrowful week was never what i intended for you. I never wanted to have to say such stuff to you. I know baby, i can be a huge drag at times, but really, its for our own sake. If you do not pay heed to my words, i fret for our happiness. Not because i don't trust us, but because i am not sure myself.
I no longer want to hurt you baby, all i want is to make you smile. But even till now, i'm afraid to do so, and take it away for whatever reason i cannot forsee. I want to make you happy, and love you with joy. Remember quite some time back i said this : Your happiness is my joy, and every frown of you is despair and torment for me. I cannot emphasise it stronger than this. Which is why i want to make you happy as the days go by.
But i cannot if you don't help me to. So i ask that you work with me, and carve our lives for a better tomorrow.
If not, you have been an awesome girlfriend to me baby. More than i could have ever asked for. And i wouldn't want any other, but you. (: I wish you a happy 10th week with me, and the next forever to be elation in your heart for eternity (: <3
I.LOVE.YOU (: <3
Hey, sweetie.
Happy 10th week, a long one i believe? (: I hope you're fine, since for the past few days i'v been praying for your safety and health. I'v been really worried ya know? Despite all the quarreling and anger etc. I put everything aside to make sure you're fine at some points of time.
You know what? I just want to say i'm really sorry. You know for what, the best. (: Sometimes the problems were trivial, sometimes they were kinda major, but big or small, i still feel like an asshole for hurting you because of them. You might say you ain't any different since you hurt me, but i don't agree. Perhaps, it was within myself, that lied the issue. Maybe i didn't give you enough time? I don't know, or maybe it lied with you, that you just couldn't get it.
Maybe i didn't consider the issue of you being single for a period of time thus losing the feel of being attached. I find, that is where, your problem lies. You forget whenever you're out of my side. You just do stuff like as if you are not attached to some one and then you hurt me. Even today after Novia spoke to you, you blatantly did it. I no longer want to hurt you, but maybe just tell you how i feel, and hope you can change if i patiently reminding you.
Whether or not this method will work, i think its hugely up to you. But i'm not completely devoid of fault as well. You might say i was a little too particular? Or perhaps i didn't respect your choice of leading your life, but hey. Look at it this way alright? From the moment we got together, has it been my choice of life? Or your choice of life? To love is to give, and commitment includes getting used to living life as if the 2 of us share one common entity in reality. To love is also to change, not just so that its sufficient. but change whenever you know you made a mistake. To love is something huge, and not something you can do half-way and expect the other side to accept that. To love, is simply, to give a lot.
Perhaps you cannot, and not everyone can easily. For me example, i changed when i was young. Really young, And i didn't take long. Some saw the change, some saw it a little too late. But either way, i still did. And i know, because people tell me. But there are others, who after a lifetime, still were not able to change. Would you be one of the latter? I do not know. But then what i can say is that it isn't impossible. And those people did not have love. Remember, you ain't changing because i'm telling you to. You're changing for my sake, and because you love me. I'm not twisting my words, but clarifying them for you.
A sorrowful week was never what i intended for you. I never wanted to have to say such stuff to you. I know baby, i can be a huge drag at times, but really, its for our own sake. If you do not pay heed to my words, i fret for our happiness. Not because i don't trust us, but because i am not sure myself.
I no longer want to hurt you baby, all i want is to make you smile. But even till now, i'm afraid to do so, and take it away for whatever reason i cannot forsee. I want to make you happy, and love you with joy. Remember quite some time back i said this : Your happiness is my joy, and every frown of you is despair and torment for me. I cannot emphasise it stronger than this. Which is why i want to make you happy as the days go by.
But i cannot if you don't help me to. So i ask that you work with me, and carve our lives for a better tomorrow.
If not, you have been an awesome girlfriend to me baby. More than i could have ever asked for. And i wouldn't want any other, but you. (: I wish you a happy 10th week with me, and the next forever to be elation in your heart for eternity (: <3
I.LOVE.YOU (: <3
Hey (:
I'm feeling really bored and life-less now haha (:
Things seemed to have flew past. Really quick. As i look back, i realised that my life has indeed been pretty eventful for the past few days. Well, can't blame anyone else but me aye? haha :D
Yea, just posting because i'm bored. But i wanna say that my 10th week with Baby was not too good, and i wished i could have done something for her instead of being a bastard and quarreling with her so much. But it doesn't matter, i'm taking things with a different perspective. I hope time changes everything, aye? (:
And not that i'm only looking out for materialistic happiness, but its been so long since i have anything from you.... letters, notes . Nothing. Was just thinking of it. :/ Yea, so i'm kinda dejected or something haha..... (:
Am singing songs now, kinda in a emo mood now LOL LOL. Uh guess its always like this, tomorrow theres choir from 10-12 then fucked up consort from 1.30-5.30 damn it. -.- Freaking tiring luh i feel like dying man. And i won't get to see you much, fuck that. :/
Yea. On another note, i wish some people could just stop being so petty and let go of past hatred. -.-
Bye.
Things seemed to have flew past. Really quick. As i look back, i realised that my life has indeed been pretty eventful for the past few days. Well, can't blame anyone else but me aye? haha :D
Yea, just posting because i'm bored. But i wanna say that my 10th week with Baby was not too good, and i wished i could have done something for her instead of being a bastard and quarreling with her so much. But it doesn't matter, i'm taking things with a different perspective. I hope time changes everything, aye? (:
And not that i'm only looking out for materialistic happiness, but its been so long since i have anything from you.... letters, notes . Nothing. Was just thinking of it. :/ Yea, so i'm kinda dejected or something haha..... (:
Am singing songs now, kinda in a emo mood now LOL LOL. Uh guess its always like this, tomorrow theres choir from 10-12 then fucked up consort from 1.30-5.30 damn it. -.- Freaking tiring luh i feel like dying man. And i won't get to see you much, fuck that. :/
Yea. On another note, i wish some people could just stop being so petty and let go of past hatred. -.-
Bye.
Not bad, improving :D
Hello, today was a great day (:
It was really pretty decent, perhaps even great if you might say. Moments here and there were fantastic lah hahas (:
Woke up feeling really tired since i slept at 6a.m this morning..... And i woke up at like 8+ a.m ?? To reply Baby's text seriously i think i'm a little crazy HAHA. :P But ya, i went to school to meet Baby. It wasn't a long meet up, but it sure cheered me up a lot. (: I then went off for Choir Practices.
It was kinda awesome actually. We made some progress ( although my Tenors kept being shy about coming in ) so i had to focus on them a lot. Was really embarrassing on myself since its my own section..... But in anycase, we did basic vocal training for the whole choir and i addressed the basic techniques to be applied. But as expected, they could not remember so i told them to bring a notebook and pencil tomorrow! :P HAHA.
Then Ms Lui spoke to the Sec2s and 3s about some issues on punctuality and standard that we are setting. I spoke to them as well with Ms Lui's permission and i hope i kinda made some impact lah (: Was glad i could say something though, didn't expect myself to do that HAHA! :P
Then i went back and am going to game now before doing work/resting i think? Yup :D Hope the day goes on well (:
Baby i'll wait for you no matter what, i promise. (: <3 I love you so much (: <3 MUACKS! :D
It was really pretty decent, perhaps even great if you might say. Moments here and there were fantastic lah hahas (:
Woke up feeling really tired since i slept at 6a.m this morning..... And i woke up at like 8+ a.m ?? To reply Baby's text seriously i think i'm a little crazy HAHA. :P But ya, i went to school to meet Baby. It wasn't a long meet up, but it sure cheered me up a lot. (: I then went off for Choir Practices.
It was kinda awesome actually. We made some progress ( although my Tenors kept being shy about coming in ) so i had to focus on them a lot. Was really embarrassing on myself since its my own section..... But in anycase, we did basic vocal training for the whole choir and i addressed the basic techniques to be applied. But as expected, they could not remember so i told them to bring a notebook and pencil tomorrow! :P HAHA.
Then Ms Lui spoke to the Sec2s and 3s about some issues on punctuality and standard that we are setting. I spoke to them as well with Ms Lui's permission and i hope i kinda made some impact lah (: Was glad i could say something though, didn't expect myself to do that HAHA! :P
Then i went back and am going to game now before doing work/resting i think? Yup :D Hope the day goes on well (:
Baby i'll wait for you no matter what, i promise. (: <3 I love you so much (: <3 MUACKS! :D
3.6.10
I have to think.
Is it time, or is it the issue about whether or not you understand? Will time change everything, or will i have to make a decision. Whether to do This, or to do That. I guess no compromise can be reached, and i have been thinking why.
I talked to my Brother and Novia. And tonight i seriously received plenty of things to ponder on. Perhaps not to care was not the right decision to make. I felt that some stuff you were doing were simply disgusting, and some of which even made me boil up so mad i wrenched at my own flesh and tore at my own inner self by cursing myself to the point of which i no longer felt the need to exist. It was horrible, and it was all because i let go too much. But perhaps even if i had a grip, it would be too much. So the part now comes with you. There are just so many questions i have to ask, so many things i have to tell you. So please, listen up.
I have to be honest with you, i hate it when you are this close to so many other boys. You claim that you are not, but i think i have explained enough to tell you that you are. That it is true, you are just not sparing a thought for me upon this topic. And its killing me, the anguish i'm feeling is indescribable. I don't want to feel that way, but i don't want to break up with you either. But you have to understand, you have to know.
Do you know for all the times you told me you would change and you didn't, i felt like a knife was thrust through my heart. It hurt so bad, and for that night after the concert i can still remember, i was so angry, i was so embarrassed then others stared, i felt so screwed up. And whenever i see you taking photos with other boys so close or even taking with them alone ( regardless of how close ), i want to just smash my com screen. It really hurts, and i cannot describe it, its beyond words. This, is merely a partial fraction of how screwed up i was.
I want you to know, that i'm asking you to change for my sake. Not because i asked you to. You have to get it, if not you will never want to change willingly. You love me do you? If you do, you will change for me i'm sure. I know, perhaps you need time. But if you don't get it, even forever won't help. I cannot hope to change you over night, not even in the span of months. But a year or so perhaps, and i think i must wait. Whether or not i will be happy during this period of time, perhaps i have to understand. I have to play my part, for our sake.
But its not only me, its you as well. If you don't try to do so, nothing will work out. I hope that you can understand, and do so. I don't want to quarrel with you so much, it fucking sucks. I don't want to have to sleep at night knowing how hurt you are, and being hurt myself.
But no matter how much you were liberal last time, you have to understand that we are in a relationship, a LOVE relationship, This isn't a game !! Okay?? You HAVE to know, what i mean when i tell you something, i cannot drive to you any stronger than this point. You just HAVE to understand the purpose and reason of which you're changing for, please. Today and few other times i have said to kill myself, i didn't. Don't let me do it without thinking twice.
I know you're having truncated now even as you read this, but just read it and understand it. Its all i'm asking for. Its all i'm asking for, if you love me, it won't be hard and you wouldn't prefer it any other way. And i will help you, i will remind you along the way. Just trust me, let me hold your hand and lead you, I love you.
Bye.
I talked to my Brother and Novia. And tonight i seriously received plenty of things to ponder on. Perhaps not to care was not the right decision to make. I felt that some stuff you were doing were simply disgusting, and some of which even made me boil up so mad i wrenched at my own flesh and tore at my own inner self by cursing myself to the point of which i no longer felt the need to exist. It was horrible, and it was all because i let go too much. But perhaps even if i had a grip, it would be too much. So the part now comes with you. There are just so many questions i have to ask, so many things i have to tell you. So please, listen up.
I have to be honest with you, i hate it when you are this close to so many other boys. You claim that you are not, but i think i have explained enough to tell you that you are. That it is true, you are just not sparing a thought for me upon this topic. And its killing me, the anguish i'm feeling is indescribable. I don't want to feel that way, but i don't want to break up with you either. But you have to understand, you have to know.
Do you know for all the times you told me you would change and you didn't, i felt like a knife was thrust through my heart. It hurt so bad, and for that night after the concert i can still remember, i was so angry, i was so embarrassed then others stared, i felt so screwed up. And whenever i see you taking photos with other boys so close or even taking with them alone ( regardless of how close ), i want to just smash my com screen. It really hurts, and i cannot describe it, its beyond words. This, is merely a partial fraction of how screwed up i was.
I want you to know, that i'm asking you to change for my sake. Not because i asked you to. You have to get it, if not you will never want to change willingly. You love me do you? If you do, you will change for me i'm sure. I know, perhaps you need time. But if you don't get it, even forever won't help. I cannot hope to change you over night, not even in the span of months. But a year or so perhaps, and i think i must wait. Whether or not i will be happy during this period of time, perhaps i have to understand. I have to play my part, for our sake.
But its not only me, its you as well. If you don't try to do so, nothing will work out. I hope that you can understand, and do so. I don't want to quarrel with you so much, it fucking sucks. I don't want to have to sleep at night knowing how hurt you are, and being hurt myself.
But no matter how much you were liberal last time, you have to understand that we are in a relationship, a LOVE relationship, This isn't a game !! Okay?? You HAVE to know, what i mean when i tell you something, i cannot drive to you any stronger than this point. You just HAVE to understand the purpose and reason of which you're changing for, please. Today and few other times i have said to kill myself, i didn't. Don't let me do it without thinking twice.
I know you're having truncated now even as you read this, but just read it and understand it. Its all i'm asking for. Its all i'm asking for, if you love me, it won't be hard and you wouldn't prefer it any other way. And i will help you, i will remind you along the way. Just trust me, let me hold your hand and lead you, I love you.
Bye.
Regret
I regret. I regret not doing something right from the start. I regret not warning and making sure she knew right from the start. I regret my naive-ness. I regret my foolishness. I regret letting go.
And now its all screwed up, nothing will ever change now. How i wish i could turn back time, and tell you not to be too close to him. How i wish i could turn back time and tell you that the both of you were going overboard. But no i can't, and now i cannot change the fact that you both are so close its the point where i get frustrated just knowing about it.
And yet how many times i tried to tell you nicely to practice self-restraint and i did warn you, you took advantage. You didn't heed my words and take it seriously. You just thought i was saying it, and i didn't mean to. You couldn't be bothered to know why. But now look at everything?? So how do you expect me to let go now? Hmm? Ask yourself. And when you read this, know that if you did anything to yourself tonight, i won't guarantee my safety either.
I don't know when will this end, but if you do not try to help me, it never will.
Goodbye.
And now its all screwed up, nothing will ever change now. How i wish i could turn back time, and tell you not to be too close to him. How i wish i could turn back time and tell you that the both of you were going overboard. But no i can't, and now i cannot change the fact that you both are so close its the point where i get frustrated just knowing about it.
And yet how many times i tried to tell you nicely to practice self-restraint and i did warn you, you took advantage. You didn't heed my words and take it seriously. You just thought i was saying it, and i didn't mean to. You couldn't be bothered to know why. But now look at everything?? So how do you expect me to let go now? Hmm? Ask yourself. And when you read this, know that if you did anything to yourself tonight, i won't guarantee my safety either.
I don't know when will this end, but if you do not try to help me, it never will.
Goodbye.
2.6.10
Decision.
Even as the mind was made up, the soul and the body was not ready.
Deciding is hard, i think i'v said this before. And really its hard, its not just any task of working your brain to do something. Its something that you have to think ahead for, and its something i cannot yet promise you i will succeed. But i'll try. (: Why can't i promise you right? (:
This is because there are several factors i have to consider. Its really not easy at all, and i hope you help me. I will need a lot of time, and in this time, i won't be VERY happy. Perhaps cheered up, but no, not the samuel you wish to see (: I'm terribly sorry that this has to happen, but i hope you stay strong for me. Because i love you, if you think you want to tell me something to make me feel better, then do so (:
If not, i'm taking a break from doing A math now. Not even one paper finished, the questions are like freaking tedious although easy. So i don't have the mood to continue yet.
Goodbye.(:
Deciding is hard, i think i'v said this before. And really its hard, its not just any task of working your brain to do something. Its something that you have to think ahead for, and its something i cannot yet promise you i will succeed. But i'll try. (: Why can't i promise you right? (:
This is because there are several factors i have to consider. Its really not easy at all, and i hope you help me. I will need a lot of time, and in this time, i won't be VERY happy. Perhaps cheered up, but no, not the samuel you wish to see (: I'm terribly sorry that this has to happen, but i hope you stay strong for me. Because i love you, if you think you want to tell me something to make me feel better, then do so (:
If not, i'm taking a break from doing A math now. Not even one paper finished, the questions are like freaking tedious although easy. So i don't have the mood to continue yet.
Goodbye.(:
Stressed up...
Hey (:
I wouldn't like to have spoiled the mood of today by posting this, but i suppose there isn't much of a choice judging by how pent up i am.....
I'm really stressed up, with a lot of problems. On school, choir and relationships. Lets start off with school. Its mainly the holiday homework issues. Theres tons of it, and it sucks seriously. I haven't even finished like 1/4 i think. And theres still projects to work on. I still have to do revision. But yet i can't bring myself to because of all external factors. I feel really f-ed up on this matter. And how i wish i wouldn't need to live through this torment...
There is choir also. Its seriously screwed up to be honest. Like everything about it right now. Juniors not listening, the choir not bothering to do whats told, giving us black faces, being rude ( so claimed by a senior of mine ) and not applying what they have actually absorbed. I won't say much, just saying its f-ed up as well. Even myself, my voice is screwed. I don't know what is going on, i'm not recovering.... I have been sucking and its so freaking depressing. Damn it.
And because i told all this to Baby, shes worried now. And she doesn't feel good not being able to help. I shouldn't have said it. Now she'll be distracted, and its my freaking fault. Damn it. Seriously.
So can some one tell me what to do now....??
I wouldn't like to have spoiled the mood of today by posting this, but i suppose there isn't much of a choice judging by how pent up i am.....
I'm really stressed up, with a lot of problems. On school, choir and relationships. Lets start off with school. Its mainly the holiday homework issues. Theres tons of it, and it sucks seriously. I haven't even finished like 1/4 i think. And theres still projects to work on. I still have to do revision. But yet i can't bring myself to because of all external factors. I feel really f-ed up on this matter. And how i wish i wouldn't need to live through this torment...
There is choir also. Its seriously screwed up to be honest. Like everything about it right now. Juniors not listening, the choir not bothering to do whats told, giving us black faces, being rude ( so claimed by a senior of mine ) and not applying what they have actually absorbed. I won't say much, just saying its f-ed up as well. Even myself, my voice is screwed. I don't know what is going on, i'm not recovering.... I have been sucking and its so freaking depressing. Damn it.
And because i told all this to Baby, shes worried now. And she doesn't feel good not being able to help. I shouldn't have said it. Now she'll be distracted, and its my freaking fault. Damn it. Seriously.
So can some one tell me what to do now....??
Great day! (: But again....
Helloz :D
This isn't a sad post don't worry. Perhaps a little draggy :P Yup, so i shall proceed with relating the events that happened today! :D
Kay so i woke up at about 11 or so and saw messages from Baby ( using Kenny's phone HAHA, KENNY IS AWESOME :P ). I didn't reply it since by the time i saw it she had to return the phone to him :D Yeap so i went on to getting changed and ready for Choir Practice. I left the house at about 12.30 or so, and reached school kinda early. About 12.40+ ? Yup, so i had to wait for Baby to finish her Supps. :D
After that i met her for about 45mins or so and we spent some time together before she went home :D It was GREAT ( despite some interruptions -.- ). But ya, i missed her a lot when she left. And am missing her loads still.....and will be missing her later as well.....sigh.....hahas. Too bad for me i guess? (:
So anyways, had choir practice from 2-5p.m. It kinda sucked, as expected. My voice hasn't fully recovered. But that wasn't the main issue of my irritation. I didn't flare up, but i just got real moody. To put it simply, i don't know if the choir is listening. Regardless whether its to me, andrew, weiying or whoever. Its like when whoever is talking, i take a quick sweeping look over the whole choir body and their faces have the phrase, " omg can we please go home " written on it. I don't mean to put it forth with such sarcasm but i really feel that there is a lack of enthusiasm and initiative in the choir. Right now, and its a big problem that needs to be fixed. I wish i knew how? But apparently i don't. Because such values only come within yourself. And i sincerely wish they will find it soon, because i can't help them for this. I was diappointed. I gave a talk to my section, they were really remorseful after that but oh well, what to do i guess? And i tore my pants damn it -.- LOL, yup i was laughing at myself luh but i took it with a pinch of salt :P So after that, i went home. My mum picked me, cause i was really tired.... And oh what'cha know? I talked to Siuyen and Bertrand LOL. And we even laughed wow. I'm not expecting anything but perhaps i'm just proud of myself for actually doing that. I even asked him to sit over at the same table as me! :D But nvm off that :P HAHA. Worthless rambling.... :P
So i'm back now, i just called baby! And gosh i really miss her freaking a lot luhhh.... ): Wonder how i'm going to survive when she is no longer in the same school as me..... :/ but lets not think about that now haha!! :D Going to call her again later and chat with her online. Something to look forward to! :D If not, thats all for today. Shall be doing homework today!! A math and Chemistry! Arn't i good? :P ( what screwed up english LOL )
BYE! :D
Baby i really love you so much, and words can't describe it :D I'm getting happier and happier with you despite all the missing ya know? This morning's problem, notice i let go of it so much faster? Because i didn't want to hurt you. Never want to, so i will just think that way. And i won't have a grip on you anymore. This i swear. (: You'll see it showing soon, I love you so much baby!!! :D <3 LOVE YOU!! :D MUACKS! :D <3
This isn't a sad post don't worry. Perhaps a little draggy :P Yup, so i shall proceed with relating the events that happened today! :D
Kay so i woke up at about 11 or so and saw messages from Baby ( using Kenny's phone HAHA, KENNY IS AWESOME :P ). I didn't reply it since by the time i saw it she had to return the phone to him :D Yeap so i went on to getting changed and ready for Choir Practice. I left the house at about 12.30 or so, and reached school kinda early. About 12.40+ ? Yup, so i had to wait for Baby to finish her Supps. :D
After that i met her for about 45mins or so and we spent some time together before she went home :D It was GREAT ( despite some interruptions -.- ). But ya, i missed her a lot when she left. And am missing her loads still.....and will be missing her later as well.....sigh.....hahas. Too bad for me i guess? (:
So anyways, had choir practice from 2-5p.m. It kinda sucked, as expected. My voice hasn't fully recovered. But that wasn't the main issue of my irritation. I didn't flare up, but i just got real moody. To put it simply, i don't know if the choir is listening. Regardless whether its to me, andrew, weiying or whoever. Its like when whoever is talking, i take a quick sweeping look over the whole choir body and their faces have the phrase, " omg can we please go home " written on it. I don't mean to put it forth with such sarcasm but i really feel that there is a lack of enthusiasm and initiative in the choir. Right now, and its a big problem that needs to be fixed. I wish i knew how? But apparently i don't. Because such values only come within yourself. And i sincerely wish they will find it soon, because i can't help them for this. I was diappointed. I gave a talk to my section, they were really remorseful after that but oh well, what to do i guess? And i tore my pants damn it -.- LOL, yup i was laughing at myself luh but i took it with a pinch of salt :P So after that, i went home. My mum picked me, cause i was really tired.... And oh what'cha know? I talked to Siuyen and Bertrand LOL. And we even laughed wow. I'm not expecting anything but perhaps i'm just proud of myself for actually doing that. I even asked him to sit over at the same table as me! :D But nvm off that :P HAHA. Worthless rambling.... :P
So i'm back now, i just called baby! And gosh i really miss her freaking a lot luhhh.... ): Wonder how i'm going to survive when she is no longer in the same school as me..... :/ but lets not think about that now haha!! :D Going to call her again later and chat with her online. Something to look forward to! :D If not, thats all for today. Shall be doing homework today!! A math and Chemistry! Arn't i good? :P ( what screwed up english LOL )
BYE! :D
Baby i really love you so much, and words can't describe it :D I'm getting happier and happier with you despite all the missing ya know? This morning's problem, notice i let go of it so much faster? Because i didn't want to hurt you. Never want to, so i will just think that way. And i won't have a grip on you anymore. This i swear. (: You'll see it showing soon, I love you so much baby!!! :D <3 LOVE YOU!! :D MUACKS! :D <3
1.6.10
Hey again (:
Enough of the emo-ing (:
Problems are settled and i'm feeling much better now. Although i think i'm still going to find some stuff to do before sleeping (: This won't be a long post its just to assure you i'm fine (: Love you baby (:
Bye!
Problems are settled and i'm feeling much better now. Although i think i'm still going to find some stuff to do before sleeping (: This won't be a long post its just to assure you i'm fine (: Love you baby (:
Bye!
Boredddd.....and i'm missing you still.....
Hello (:
Today was kinda dumb.....but the best word to describe it would be draggy .___. The whole day was like crammed up with activities that i had to drag myself through. Only the movie was great haha.
So i woke up at 9.45a.m feeling super tired because i slept at 1+ last night. Damn it -.- When will i EVER get enough sleep man. Yea so, left the house for voice class. And it sucked, my lesson sucked. My voice hasn't recovered fully, and i had to sing. And i sounded like SHIT, Mr Kuek stopped me half-way through a song and told me that i couldn't sing it today. Screw this lah, i'm not getting enough rest, i have loads of stuff to do ( even without truncated lessons ) and i still have a concert coming up AND tons of practices. Homework hasn't been good either, screw this seriously... -.- !!! Then i left half-hearted, for the movie. Meeting up with my friends cheered me up a little bit, but still i was sad and my mind was else where. My heart was thinking about you.... :/
The movie took my mind of the heavy load on my back and made me loosen up a little. We watched Prince of Persia : Sands of Time and its an awesome movie. (: Highly recommended haha. Yea after that, i went back home, my mum picked me. So here i am, and my next activity would be to call Baby. I hope i get happier hearing her voice, and i hope shes fine too. I haven't seen her for so long, and i miss her so damn much.. ): ): ):
Tomorrow theres still TK choir practice from 2-5p.m, epic man. Epic.
Bye.
I love you baby (: Sorry for this rather depressing post, i guess i had to let it out. I miss you so much..... :/ <3
Today was kinda dumb.....but the best word to describe it would be draggy .___. The whole day was like crammed up with activities that i had to drag myself through. Only the movie was great haha.
So i woke up at 9.45a.m feeling super tired because i slept at 1+ last night. Damn it -.- When will i EVER get enough sleep man. Yea so, left the house for voice class. And it sucked, my lesson sucked. My voice hasn't recovered fully, and i had to sing. And i sounded like SHIT, Mr Kuek stopped me half-way through a song and told me that i couldn't sing it today. Screw this lah, i'm not getting enough rest, i have loads of stuff to do ( even without truncated lessons ) and i still have a concert coming up AND tons of practices. Homework hasn't been good either, screw this seriously... -.- !!! Then i left half-hearted, for the movie. Meeting up with my friends cheered me up a little bit, but still i was sad and my mind was else where. My heart was thinking about you.... :/
The movie took my mind of the heavy load on my back and made me loosen up a little. We watched Prince of Persia : Sands of Time and its an awesome movie. (: Highly recommended haha. Yea after that, i went back home, my mum picked me. So here i am, and my next activity would be to call Baby. I hope i get happier hearing her voice, and i hope shes fine too. I haven't seen her for so long, and i miss her so damn much.. ): ): ):
Tomorrow theres still TK choir practice from 2-5p.m, epic man. Epic.
Bye.
I love you baby (: Sorry for this rather depressing post, i guess i had to let it out. I miss you so much..... :/ <3
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