I almost forgot about this (:
Hey, sweetie.
Happy 10th week, a long one i believe? (: I hope you're fine, since for the past few days i'v been praying for your safety and health. I'v been really worried ya know? Despite all the quarreling and anger etc. I put everything aside to make sure you're fine at some points of time.
You know what? I just want to say i'm really sorry. You know for what, the best. (: Sometimes the problems were trivial, sometimes they were kinda major, but big or small, i still feel like an asshole for hurting you because of them. You might say you ain't any different since you hurt me, but i don't agree. Perhaps, it was within myself, that lied the issue. Maybe i didn't give you enough time? I don't know, or maybe it lied with you, that you just couldn't get it.
Maybe i didn't consider the issue of you being single for a period of time thus losing the feel of being attached. I find, that is where, your problem lies. You forget whenever you're out of my side. You just do stuff like as if you are not attached to some one and then you hurt me. Even today after Novia spoke to you, you blatantly did it. I no longer want to hurt you, but maybe just tell you how i feel, and hope you can change if i patiently reminding you.
Whether or not this method will work, i think its hugely up to you. But i'm not completely devoid of fault as well. You might say i was a little too particular? Or perhaps i didn't respect your choice of leading your life, but hey. Look at it this way alright? From the moment we got together, has it been my choice of life? Or your choice of life? To love is to give, and commitment includes getting used to living life as if the 2 of us share one common entity in reality. To love is also to change, not just so that its sufficient. but change whenever you know you made a mistake. To love is something huge, and not something you can do half-way and expect the other side to accept that. To love, is simply, to give a lot.
Perhaps you cannot, and not everyone can easily. For me example, i changed when i was young. Really young, And i didn't take long. Some saw the change, some saw it a little too late. But either way, i still did. And i know, because people tell me. But there are others, who after a lifetime, still were not able to change. Would you be one of the latter? I do not know. But then what i can say is that it isn't impossible. And those people did not have love. Remember, you ain't changing because i'm telling you to. You're changing for my sake, and because you love me. I'm not twisting my words, but clarifying them for you.
A sorrowful week was never what i intended for you. I never wanted to have to say such stuff to you. I know baby, i can be a huge drag at times, but really, its for our own sake. If you do not pay heed to my words, i fret for our happiness. Not because i don't trust us, but because i am not sure myself.
I no longer want to hurt you baby, all i want is to make you smile. But even till now, i'm afraid to do so, and take it away for whatever reason i cannot forsee. I want to make you happy, and love you with joy. Remember quite some time back i said this : Your happiness is my joy, and every frown of you is despair and torment for me. I cannot emphasise it stronger than this. Which is why i want to make you happy as the days go by.
But i cannot if you don't help me to. So i ask that you work with me, and carve our lives for a better tomorrow.
If not, you have been an awesome girlfriend to me baby. More than i could have ever asked for. And i wouldn't want any other, but you. (: I wish you a happy 10th week with me, and the next forever to be elation in your heart for eternity (: <3
I.LOVE.YOU (: <3
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