Why?

Sigh...

           Hey. Today was fucked up, right from the first time i woke up. Well, its still early so i guess its going to get worst.

           Woke up at about 6.30 in the morning. Couldn't bring myself to move, and i felt more horrible than i ever did. Something was going to happen, i told myself. And it did, shall elaborate later. But anyways, i decided not to go for choir and to continue sleeping. Woke up again at about 8.10+, Andrew was calling. I told him i couldn't make it, and wished him luck for the practice later. Then i went back to sleep. Woke up, AGAIN ( and yes i was super freaking irritated that i kept waking up ) at about 10.20. Read the message i received. Bingo, the expected came. Of course, i felt like crap and i couldn't believe what i read. But all in all, it boiled down to having to accept it. I guess its just too perfect to be a reality.

           Felt lifeless all the way until now. Whats worst? Andrew told me choir today was hell. What a relief huh? Felt really empty throughout the day from the message until now. Haven't done anything constructive except for eating my lunch. And i'm just dragging myself through this abyss. My head hurts like mad, and my nose is still terribly blocked and annoying. Only my throat is getting slightly better. I didn't see the doctor, you said you would scold me, i guess you won't now.... sigh...

           Yea, and i think ya'll have guessed it by now. The message content, i mean. Life is really entertaining, ain't it? If Andrew lets me go to his house tonight it would be a blast. I feel bad, like i'm using him whenever i'm down. But i'm not, to tell the truth. Just needing my friends because i'm down. Its not like i abandon them when i don't need them anyway. So... i guess thats it. I don't have much else to post for now. Might or might not post again later. Depending i guess.

           Goodbye.

Quote : When i need you, i lose you instead. That perfect love, gone. Mistakes never meant to be, made.