Hello, earthlings.
This blog is prone to random hiatus-s so feel free to feel stupid or weird about it since my erratic posts tend to put people off. So anyways, i'm here on a depressing tone. As usual? HA.HA. But really, its not really a bad thing but not so much as a good thing either. So, here we go...
I went for voice class today. As much as i wanted this to not happened, i flunked both my concert songs in front of all the superb singers in the evening concert. I didn't know what to feel. I tried so hard to mask my regret and embarrassment behind the thin disguise i put up, but to no avail. The look in my eyes revealed everything. I regret over-singing, i regret shouting, i regret everything. And that was all i needed. After a long period of thinking, i've come to the decision of stepping down as a SC.
Its sudden and very selfish of me, but i have no choice. My voice is too important to me, and every single time i lose it i feel like a part of me is stripped. A part of my personality, half of my soul. I forced myself to have faith in the choir, in the music committee hoping they could stand on their own two feet when things came down to this. But would i be surprised at their reactions? No. They would probably blame me for being selfish and irresponsible. But who am i to argue? The decision was selfish, irresponsible and pathetic. But whatever it is, i've made up my mind and no one can turn around my choice. I've been slogging enough for the choir, and its time they did things on their own. No more Samuel the SC, no more Samuel the SL, no more Samuel the know-more-than-us-to-rely-on guy. I'm putting this aside.
Sigh, i'm still confused, not knowing if this is right or wrong. But i won't change my mind. Perhaps time is all it takes to determine so. And pray then, its the first. Goodbye folks, and a pleasant night.
May the winds of fate cut the shadows of deception, and open the true path to me.
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