One day felt like an eternity.

Lets go to more details i guess....

             Woke up this morning at about 8+.... i didn't sleep much. Perhaps 4 hours? I think i might be suffering from Insomnia... but i guess i can't help it. And oh ya, i'm not eating well too. This really feels like shit. And it sucks all the more to know that my parents will scold/worry about this and i can't do anything about it. I just can't force the food down, i bet i would vomit it out again.

             Studies are still fine, and that would never change. Its something thats like a lee-way from all of life's troubles. What was the irony? I used to think life was the lee-way from all of studies' troubles. Oh well, life sucks now. But what am i supposed to do?

             I'm deciding whether or not to go over to Andrew's house again and spend the night there before coming back. Maybe i should, since i guess we both need each other. He is kinda troubled as well and i should be there for him like he was last night. Yup so.... i should be going over...

             Still very troubled, and confused as to what to do. Tried calling her just now, her mum was surprisingly friendly, or rather she seemed to be? But as usual, she doesn't allow her to speak to me. But she did assure me that Abi was fine... so i guess i shouldn't worry.

             I guess i'm well over it, its just the fact that i'm heartbroken inside. And i have no one to call my own. I don't have anyone which can love me and help me mend a broken wound. It was you that mended my wound Abi when i broke up with her, but now you are the one who broke my heart and i have no one to turn to. My parents were there, but it just won't be the same.

             My legs are freaking aching, i ran my heart out. Sang my heart out.  Or maybe, my heart was already out?? I don't know.... i miss the old times. But sometimes, i think its best to let go and put things down. Even when the seas finally settle, the waves will never stop pounding our distance to shreds. Sigh.... i'm just a husk filled with regret, remorse, and pain.

             Goodbye again, shall post soon....

Tired :/

Hello(:

          This few days have been really screwed up for me. And sad to say i'm not really over it yet. Well, i have to cope with lack of sleep and lack of meals now. Thats my main enemy, i'm really falling short on those. Its like i'm tired and i can't sleep. And when i do sleep i can only do so for 4 hours and then i'll wake up. Its like jet lag without going overseas -.- But anyways, part and parcel of a life time's experience i would say (:

          So anyways, my studies have been going on fine though. Paid plenty of attention in class and my first week was super fruitful. More fruitful than i expected it to be...studies wise only. (:  Sigh.....

          I'm clueless as to what to do next, totally clueless. I guess its really hard to find things to do when your mind is so god damn occupied. But i did sleep over at andrew's house and i just got back. It was a nice revenue to let out my thoughts. He took me for a walk around his condo and i just said everything i wanted to.

         I should really learn to treasure my parents more, They were the ones who stayed by me for 15 years and more to come without ever saying they don't love me anymore and all that. Regardless of what to do. I seriously neglected them badly, i'm just a big ass lump of regret....

        But in anycase, regret can't do much. Moving on can. And i have to try to. There aren't many propellers for me to do so easily but i have to do it. Alone.

        If you do read my blog still, know that i still think of us. I still miss you. And i wish Italy could come back. But then again, would this happen again? I don't know, fate cannot be changed, only tried. Believing in God was not enough, you did and thought he gave me to you, but in the end we had to part. Its sad, really sad.

       Goodbye.

Crushed....

             And now i know what does it feel like to have my whole world crashing down upon me.... Sigh.... why is this happening?? I don't know what went wrong.... You said you still cared? But then you're doing this to me... What about all the memories? What about all the things we've been through? We done it together.... But now you're just giving up on us.... I don't understand.

             Some things really don't turn out the way we want it i suppose. I don't know where did all the promises go, and i'm really badly shaken by this. I don't even know how will i get over this.... i have to do it alone you know? Because i don't have friends like you do. Which makes it all the more harder.....

             I don't know if i can ever get over you.... Goodbye...